Couples counseling – and couples therapy – is evidence based. We *know,* based on science, that these approaches work, and with the right guidance and support, you can improve communication, build trust, and see an improvement in your relationship.
But one thing that is important to understand is that a relationship is not only two people, but two unique, distinctive, entirely separate people. While couples counseling is designed to enhance the relationship, sometimes it is an individual’s needs that are just as important.
The Challenges an Individual Brings Into a Relationship
How couples communicate, how they build memories, how they tackle problems – these are all important for the relationship to succeed, and all parts of what make a relationship successful. They’re also issues that can be best worked on together, so that both partners are being pointed in the same direction and have a better understanding of each other’s needs and expectations.
Still, within a relationship, it is often the individual that needs to be addressed – either in addition to or even as an alternative to couples counseling. For example:
- Anxiety and Depression – If one partner has anxiety and/or depression, it can be especially difficult to be present in the relationship. If they’re overstressed or worrying about many things, it can come out as irritability or damage a marriage.
- Trauma – Past traumas play a tremendous role in our ability to manage a relationship. Unresolved trauma can make it hard for us to show affection, love, accept affection, feel connection, and more.
- Individual Relationship Issues – Sometimes, within a relationship, a person needs to work through their issues privately or more personally rather than in front of their partner. It may be because the information feels too sensitive, or because they are individual issues and the partner is not necessarily someone to bring into the conversation yet.
Work stress, financial issues, even infidelity – there are many issues that a person may find would be better to address individually with a therapist, rather than with their partner in a couples counseling setting. Individual therapy can also help augment traditional couples counseling, giving each partner a chance to talk in private with a therapist about things they are not (yet) ready to talk about with their partners that came up during counseling.
Addressing the Individual and the Couple
Couples counseling remains one of the best tools we have for repairing a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that it is the only approach that will work. There are going to be those that may benefit from individual therapy, either in general or in the context of the relationship. Mental health is complex, and working together, we can determine the best way to make sure you’re living your best life and getting the most from the relationship. For more information about our couples counseling services in Brooklyn, please contact Flourish Psychology, today.