As the term “AI” takes off, and more and more people choose to use these chatbots and related tools, it is becoming clear that unrestricted use of these tools is a problem.
We’re not just talking about ethics, plagiarism, or the economic impact. Chatbots, specifically, are proving time and time again to be problematic, especially for those struggling with severe mental health challenges. AI runs the risk of introducing problems or exacerbating existing conditions, and the interactions that someone has with it can cause significant harm.
About AI – What it Is
First, for clarity, “AI” does not yet exist. That is a marketing term. Current AI is actually an algorithm that uses a highly advanced predictive text to determine what the most likely word will be given their dataset. It is not capable of thought, reasoning, and certainly not emotions. Any sign of personality from within the program is coding designed to present information in a specific way.
This is important to understand because many people, even those without mental health conditions, feel like and think like they’re talking to computer “person” that is responding to their thoughts. The algorithm is designed to sound like a human being, but it is essentially just a 100x more advanced version of the predictive text on a person’s phone. It is not thinking and has no consciousness of any kind.
How AI Can Trigger Psychological Challenges
With that in mind, modern versions of AI Chatbots:
Sound like people, which makes it feel like you’re talking to a person.
Write with authority, so it makes it appear they “know” what they’re talking about.
Are marketed as if they’re artificial intelligence, rather than just a dataset algorithm.
Has no concept of right or wrong and cannot understand the user’s intent.
Can be intentionally/unintentionally programmed to respond in different ways.
Now, imagine a scenario where someone both doesn’t understand what AI is, and then also struggles with their mental health. It’s easy to see how this computer algorithm on the other end may cause issues that lead to further mental health challenges. For example:
Paranoia/Loss of Reality – Those that are struggling with issues related to paranoia or delusions may equate what chatbots say as either reality or hiding reality. Because these bots can be essentially told to answer questions in mysterious ways based on user prompts, it’s possible for individuals to misinterpret AI interactions as signs of a higher power, AI tracking, government interference, and more.
Depression – Most well known Chatbots are programmed to be careful around depression and suicide related topics, but this programming is tenuous. There are many examples of people sharing information with the chatbot with responses that are not sensitive to the person’s mental health. As these chatbots are unable to think, they are not always capable of determining whether the language output they provide could be interpreted as encouraging self-harm.
Personality Disorder Challenges – Chat algorithms do not always elicit consistent responses. As a result, someone that has abandonment issues (for example, a person with borderline personality disorder) may find that they expect their chat to react a certain way. If it does not, they can interpret that as rejection or abandonment.
It’s also possible for people’s usage of these AI Chatbots to be used to fuel their own mental health challenges further. For example, a person with health anxiety may search these chatbots for diagnoses and get incorrect answers. Or someone with body dysmorphia may seek out validation of their eating habits.
Guardrails to Manage Mental Health and AI
AI’s affect on society runs far deeper than chatbots. It can be used for Deepfakes. It can fuel eating disorders by creating impossible standards of beauty. It can be manipulative. There are also the economic and ethical reasons to be cautious around AI. Plus, the term itself “AI” is misleading enough to warrant concern.
But one other thing we are seeing that we need to monitor even more is the way that “AI” is affecting people that are going through mental health crises. As therapists, we may even have to be aware of clients using programs like ChatGPT in order to make sure that we can be proactive in monitoring for the effects on Chatbots on our patients, and encourage them to be more aware of the way they feel when using these services.
The 4th of July is over. For some, it was a time of celebration, where we got together with friends and family for fun, enjoyable experiences filled with food, people, and fireworks. For many others, however, it is a triggering time. It is a time where issues like the loud noises of fireworks can trigger immense anxiety, stress, and fear.
Fireworks are often a trigger for those struggling with PTSD, as the loud and surprising noises can all create issues from unresolved past experiences. That is why now is a good time to ask yourself whether or not it is time to start seeking treatment for your past traumas.
How Did You Feel on July 4th?
If you’ve experienced trauma in the past that you’ve struggled to deal with, and you found that you were especially on edge during July 4th as a result of loud noises, bright lights, or even crowds, it may be a sign that you could have post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. PTSD can trigger many issues, including:
Hypervigilance – This is where you feel on edge or unsafe in an environment that should otherwise feel safe.
Flashbacks – This is when memories from the past flash into your mind, especially during loud noises or when surrounded by crowds.
Extreme Stress – This would describe you feeling as though you’re under extreme stress during these July 4th experiences, despite no clear stressful activity.
Those with PTSD may also have trouble sleeping not only the night of July 4th, but the following days, or may experience emotional or even psychological detachment caused by feeling overstressed and overstimulated.
What is EMDR?
Studies have found that one of the reasons that trauma may be impacting people long after the event is because the stress of the event disrupts the normal processing response. In a way, it cause the event to be “stuck” and fragmented in the brain, which in turn causes people to relive the stress and be unable to move it to long term processing, where a person can start coping with it.
One of the most effective known solutions for this is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR. The focus of EMDR is to help people re-process a traumatic event and move the traumatic event into long term memory so that it is then unable to trigger the same physiological and emotional distress.
EMDR is a unique process that helps people process events through eye movements, sounds, and other forms of stimulation to help them maneuver the event through the normal cognitive processing channels, in order to help them process it, reduce its intensity, and heal. It is very effective, and while it is not right for all patients, those that are candidates for EMDR find it to be one of the most effective tools available for overcoming trauma.
It is especially useful to consider EMDR right after something like July 4th – something that has triggered the emotions. Some believe this can make it easier to access them and process them, resulting in better overall outcomes.
Seeking Psychotherapy for Trauma After July 4th
If the Fourth of July caused you to experience psychological challenges related to trauma, let’s talk about it. Reach out to Flourish Psychology today and let’s talk about your struggles and how we can help you manage your trauma and experience a better July 4th next year.
When a person has a traumatic experience, it can linger in the brain. Studies have shown that one of the reasons that people experience issues like PTSD is because their mind struggles to process the emotional significance of the trauma, and the trauma then lingers in the mind, bouncing around and causing anxiety and distress.
It’s one of the primary reasons that EMDR has been so successful at treating PTSD. EMDR helps a person process the event in a safe setting, helping move it to the long term storage part of the brain and reducing the distress that it causes.
Still, when we say something is “stuck” in the brain, what does that mean? Where is it stuck?
Let’s talk about it.
Where a Trauma is Stuck in the Mind
One thing to understand is that when we say that a traumatic event is “stuck” in the brain, this isn’t metaphorical. There are specific brain regions involved in how trauma is recalled, stored, and processed. During a traumatic events, those systems are overwhelmed and dysregulated, causing trauma to feel like it’s ongoing.
For those that have this unresolved trauma, it’s stored in several places. These include:
Amygdala – The Amygdala is what stores the emotional intensity of the event. During a traumatic event, it tags the memory as “dangerous,” which is partially what leads to these feelings of being on high alert (even in safe environments), cause panic at otherwise mild triggers, and lead to heightened anxiety and stress. The amygdala also has no concept of time, which may explain why a person feels like they’re still living the event.
Hippocampus – While the amygdala governs emotion and alertness, the hippocampus helps form and organize memories, placing them in a logical timeline. Under extreme stress, hippocampal activity can become impaired. Traumatic experiences may be stored as sensory fragments or disorganized impressions, rather than coherent, narrative memories. This may cause flashbacks, intrusive images, and more. There is even research that shows that the hippocampus may shrink after a traumatic event, making it harder to process additional memories.
Prefrontal Cortex – In a healthy stress response, the prefrontal cortex helps regulate the amygdala and integrate emotional memory with reasoning. But during trauma – or when trauma has been left unprocessed – this area often becomes underactive. The prefrontal cortex helps distinguish between a real threat and a perceived one. When it is dysregulated, the brain struggles to tell the difference. It also has a difficult time with decision making or accessing calming thoughts.
When we say that trauma gets “stuck” in the brain, it’s not entirely an exaggeration. It may not be stuck in the literal sense, but the way that it fragments and deregulates the brain’s functions means that it’s always bouncing around in there, causing ongoing issues. Addressing the trauma then requires figuring out how to help the brain process it the way it would process any event – helping it get unstuck.
Processing Trauma to Move Forward
What makes trauma different from other negative experiences is not only the intensity, but also the way it bypasses normal memory systems. If the brain doesn’t fully process and integrate the experience, it may remain stored in a raw, emotionally charged form – especially in the amygdala and sensory systems. These unprocessed fragments can be reactivated by smells, sights, sounds, or even thoughts that are only loosely related to the original event.
Therapies such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), somatic experiencing, and trauma-informed cognitive behavioral therapy work by helping the brain complete the processing of these memories. The goal is to shift the trauma from an ongoing alarm to something that is recognized as part of the past.
Even if trauma feels deeply embedded, it does not have to stay that way. With the right support, the brain can begin to rewire and recover – moving the trauma out of a reactive loop and into long-term memory where it no longer dictates how we feel in the present.
If you’re struggling with trauma, reach out to Flourish Psychology today. Let’s have our team help you process trauma, using EMDR and other therapies to help you move forward. Contact us today to get started.
Recently, Dr. Sadi Fox of Flourish Psychology was featured on Fox Weather to discuss the way that severe weather patterns can affect our mood. Take a look!
Usually, when we talk about the way weather affects mood, we are primarily focused on issues like seasonal depression. But weather can affect our mood in some wany ways. Even the heat!
Right now, millions of people are living through Hurricane Season. It’s now even become something we have to worry about more in New York! Sadi addresses the way that weather can affect our mood, and more!
Take a look and reach out to Flourish Psychology with any additional questions, or if you want to learn more about our psychotherapy services.
There is no timeline for love. But that doesn’t mean that we’re not going to find ourselves feeling rushed now and again. There are some biological issues at play – for example, if you’re trying to have children – and of course, many people prefer the idea of young love, when we’re at our physical peaks, but love can come at any time. What matters is understanding yourself, opening yourself up to what you’re looking for, being realistic with your expectations, and managing your standards and goals.
When we’re young, the idea of meeting someone can, for some people, feel almost unnecessary. “We have all the time in the world” or “we’re still young.” When we get older, it’s not uncommon to feel a bit more discouraged, especially when we reach the milestone age of 40 and find that many of our friends in that age group are married and may even have kids.
It can be discouraging. But you also don’t what that feeling of discouragement to interfere with your mental health, or your ability to meet a mate, or change your core values. So what can you do if you’re feeling issues? What can you do if you’re feeling external pressures, or biological ones, or you’re simply feeling upset that you haven’t found “the one.”
Recognizing the Source of the Pressure
Goals CAN change. Some people become 40+ and realize that they’re perfectly happy with themselves and who they are. Maybe they’re still looking for someone, maybe they aren’t, but overall they’re comfortable with themselves and whatever happens, happens.
For those that have been looking for or hoping for a mate, however, it isn’t uncommon to feel upset at where you are. It’s okay to be upset about not reaching your goals. But discouragement about being single at 40 often stems less from the experience itself, and more form how it is interpreted both internally and externally. For example:
Social Expectations – Cultural messages often equate success with partnership, especially by midlife. These expectations may not reflect current realities or individual preferences, but they can still create a sense of inadequacy.
Comparison with Peers – Seeing others in long-term relationships or raising children can prompt questions about one’s own path, even if those paths were never personally desirable.
Relationship History – People who have experienced loss, long-term breakups, or patterns of unsatisfying relationships may feel discouraged not because they are single, but because they are carrying unresolved emotional weight.
Uncertainty About the Future – Concerns about aging, health, or companionship can compound emotional discomfort, especially when there is no clear timeline for meeting someone.
These are all valid emotional responses, but they are not static conditions. They can be processed, challenged, and reframed with the right psychological tools.
Separating Identity from Relationship Status
A key shift in maintaining mental and emotional health is learning to separate self-worth from relationship status. This involves recognizing that:
Being in a relationship does not inherently indicate emotional maturity or stability.
Being single does not mean a person is incomplete, behind, or lacking.
The ability to form and sustain healthy relationships starts with internal regulation, boundary-setting, and self-awareness—skills that are often better developed in midlife.
Many individuals who remain single at 40 have done so not due to failure, but due to intentional choices, personal growth, or high standards that protect their well-being. Recognizing this distinction can reduce feelings of discouragement and replace them with a sense of agency.
Building Stability Without Waiting for Partnership
Discouragement often increases when life is placed on hold while waiting for the “right” relationship. A more productive and psychologically protective approach involves investing in areas of life that provide fulfillment and emotional regulation regardless of relationship status.
These areas might include:
Friendship and Social Connection – Quality relationships, whether romantic or platonic, play a central role in mental health. Intentional investment in friendship networks can meet many of the emotional needs associated with partnership.
Personal Development – Learning new skills, setting financial or professional goals, and engaging in creative work can create meaning and identity outside of relational roles.
Physical and Mental Wellness – Regular exercise, therapy, mindfulness, or other forms of self-care improve resilience and reduce the risk of internalizing loneliness.
Purpose-Oriented Activities – Volunteering, mentoring, or participating in community organizations provides structure and emotional reward that often mirror the benefits of shared life with a partner.
These efforts do not replace the value of a romantic relationship – but they do create a stable emotional base that allows future relationships to be additive rather than compensatory.
Accepting Ambiguity While Remaining Open
One of the most emotionally complex aspects of being single at 40 is the uncertainty. There are no guarantees that a relationship will form, nor is there a defined path for how or when it might happen. This ambiguity can lead to either despair or acceptance depending on how it is managed.
Psychologically, individuals tend to benefit most from adopting a mindset that is both accepting of their current reality and open to change. That includes:
Acknowledging grief or disappointment without letting it define identity
Allowing space for hope without forcing timelines
Recognizing that relationships may form in unexpected ways or at different life stages
Understanding that being “ready” does not guarantee outcomes, but it improves the experience of waiting
It is often the combination of internal stability and emotional openness that allows people to meet others in meaningful ways, especially later in life.
Remaining Single Does Not Mean Something Is Wrong
Being single at 40 may feel out of sync with expectations, but it is not an indicator of personal failure. For many, it reflects a set of circumstances, values, or priorities that have led to a different – though still complete – life trajectory. Discouragement can be a temporary emotional response, not a permanent state, especially when it is examined through a lens of emotional awareness and self-respect.
If you’re finding yourself having trouble with being single at this age, and you’re looking for help with your mental health, please reach out to Flourish Psychology today and let’s talk about what this feeling means for you and what we can do to overcome it.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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