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What is the Joy of Missing Out? (JOMO!)

What is the Joy of Missing Out? (JOMO!)

FOMO has become a mainstream phrase. It stands for the “Fear of Missing Out,” and – while most references to FOMO are humorous or casual in nature, it can have clinical significance. For example, a person that struggles with their mental health may experience negative emotions due to FOMO if they skip out on an event, or someone that struggles with something like addiction may attend an event they should not attend because of this fear.

Fear of missing out is also the cause of many technology addictions. Many of us frequently check social media, for example, concerned that we might miss a post we do not want to miss. Even as most social media websites deteriorate in quality, we still check these sites regularly to see if something new or interesting has been posted.

FOMO may not be a medical term, or even a technical one, but it is something that can affect people on a regular basis and sometimes in a negative way.

Embracing the JOY of Missing Out

Rather than focus on the fear of missing out, it may be a good idea to embrace the joy of missing out, or JOMO. JOMO celebrates the decision to engage less with social activities and more with personal well-being, emphasizing the importance of finding satisfaction in solitary pursuits and simpler pleasures.

The Concept of JOMO

JOMO is, in theory, the psychological state of finding contentment with one’s own company and activities, without the compulsion to participate in every social event, broadcast every life detail online, or feel the desire to always discover what you may have missed. It involves an intentional shift from being hyper-connected to appreciating moments of disconnection, where one can recharge and reflect away from the noise of the external world.

The concept of JOMO can potentially have many benefits, especially for those that have found themselves struggling with their mental health. In theory, JOMO can provide:

  • Enhanced Self-Awareness – Stepping back from social obligations allows individuals to reconnect with their interests and passions, often leading to a deeper understanding of themselves.
  • Increased Mindfulness – By reducing the noise of constant connectivity, JOMO fosters a mindful approach to everyday life, enhancing engagement with the present moment.
  • Improved Mental Health – Lessening the pressure to be socially active can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, all of which are often exacerbated by the non-stop nature of social media.

Many of us would benefit from more time not only alone, but also learning to love being alone – especially in our hyperconnected world. In theory, JOMO could provide that, as yet another tool to help people struggling regain a sense of control over their lives.

Implementing JOMO in Daily Life

Adopting JOMO involves more than just occasional disengagement from social media or turning down a single outing. It is about cultivating a lifestyle where one does not feel the need to compare themselves with others, meet unrealistically high social standards, or sacrifices their mental health needs to make sure that they don’t miss anything important. A person can embrace JOMO through activities such as:

  • Setting Boundaries with Technology – Designate tech-free times or zones within your home to encourage periods of disconnection.
  • Cultivating Solitary Hobbies – Engage in activities that can be enjoyed alone, such as reading, gardening, or crafting.
  • Prioritizing Personal Relationships – Focus on fostering deeper, more meaningful connections with fewer people, rather than maintaining a broad, superficial network.
  • Learning to Love Yourself – The joy of missing out also requires a mindset shift, where you become someone that you want to spend time with.

The Joy of Missing Out is not about isolating oneself but about making selective choices to enhance personal happiness and well-being. In a world that often values quantity over quality, JOMO helps individuals find balance and fulfillment in their own terms, proving that sometimes, the best place to be is exactly where you are – away from the crowd.

If you feel like you’re struggling in life and that “FOMO” is causing you problems and challenges, contact Flourish Psychology, today. Our boutique private practice offers therapy and support for those in New York that need more positive time alone. Contact us today to learn more.

Phone Addiction Therapy in NYC with Flourish Psychology

Phone Addiction Therapy in NYC with Flourish Psychology

Being present, happy, and productive is important for our mental health. At Flourish Psychology, our team of therapists is available to work with patients that struggle with this, whether it’s caused by anxiety, depression, or more recently: phone addiction.

Phone addiction can be a surprisingly challenging problem that affects relationships, parenting, and happiness. Flourish Psychology can support your “recovery” from phone addiction and help you reclaim control of your time. Based in Brooklyn, our therapists can address the causes of the addiction, what’s holding you back, the emotions created by too much phone use, and more.

If you are struggling with phone addiction in NYC, please contact Flourish Psychology today at 917-737-9475 or fill out our online form to get in touch with our team.

About Phone Addiction and Therapy

Most of us are on our smartphones too often. Based on our own analytics, about 75% of the people reading this are reading this from their phones. Most of the activities that we used to do in person or via computer now take place on small, handheld technology that we keep with us in our pockets.

But this type of technology is different.

Studies have shown that excessive smartphone leads to anxiety, depression, poor happiness scores, and – depending on what a person does online – issues like low-self esteem, eating disorders, and relationship difficulties.

Smartphone addiction is an addiction. People cannot seem to help checking their phones and spending time on there, and may experience withdrawals or anxiety if they put their phone away. Many also find that they get irritable when questioned about their cell phone use.

This addiction can have many causes and can also cause many additional difficulties:

  • Some people are overwhelmed by life and work and use their phone as a crutch to escape, without any other coping mechanisms.
  • Some people get addiction to scrolling social media, always looking for the next laugh, story, or “likes.”
  • Some people work too hard, and their phone becomes a tool they feel they need to be on at all times to manage their work life.
  • Some people find they crave the feedback and attention of likes, shares, and other engagement on social media in a way that occupies their time and thoughts.

There are any number of reasons that a person might find themselves become addicted to their phone, but the effects can be very real and very difficult. People may struggle with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, relationship difficulties, parenting difficulties – all while the time they do have in the day to care for themselves and enjoy life gets sapped away.

It’s easy to understand why many people would benefit from a therapist for phone addiction.

Phone Addiction Therapists for Mental Health

Therapy is about addressing our mental health to live happier and emotionally/psychologically healthier lives. It’s about reclaiming our time and our happiness, and not allowing anything to stand in the way. That is why it can be helpful to speak to a therapist about phone addiction, and why it is so valuable to know that you have someone that can help you get your time back.

Through therapeutic approaches, like CBT, we can work on helping you find ways to put the phone down and keep it down. Our therapists also specialize in conditions like trauma, anxiety, relationship difficulties, and disordered eating – all the issues caused by phone addiction. We can make sure that not only are you no longer on the phone as often, but you’re also feeling happier again and finding yourself free to pursue passions and be present in your life.

Start Today with Flourish Psychology

Phone addiction causes issues, and can also be a symptom of other problems. If you’re someone that feels like you’re on the phone too often and would benefit from a therapist to help you re-claim your time again, contact our therapists at Flourish Psychology today.

Examples of What the Art in Art Therapy Might Tell a Therapist

Examples of What the Art in Art Therapy Might Tell a Therapist

Art therapy may sound like it’s about the art itself. But it’s not about so much more than that. Art therapists undergo extensive clinical training to be able to read and understand a person’s artistic expression in ways that can say so much about what a person is feeling, what they’re struggling with, and so much more.

You’ve likely heard that art is a form of expression. One of the reasons it’s capable of doing that is because there are themes in what a person’s psychology says about them in their art. It’s why, while much art is open to interpretation, most of us can get similar feelings about a piece of art if we see it and recognize themes if we know where to look.

What are some examples?

We want to limit the number of examples we share because we do not want it to influence a person’s art. We want everything to flow from you genuinely. However, some examples might include:

  • If a person uses bright colors in certain types of paintings, it may mean that they’re showing signs of anxiety and agitation. However, in other settings, it may be a sign of contentment and excitement.
  • Recurring symbols may have meanings. For example, if a person consistently adds fences to a drawing, it may indicate that they’re feeling trapped or guarded.
  • Lines that are more unnecessarily jagged might indicate a person is feeling frustrated or angry, while lines that flow more might indicate that the person is thoughtful and calm.

Because we want the art to be genuine, we are careful to not direct you. While art therapy is guided AND we discuss the art together, it is meant to be your expression and come naturally, so we encourage anyone considering art therapy not to look up meanings too much before their sessions.

Nevertheless, it’s important to understand that this type of therapy and interpretation is extensively studied, and your art therapists deeply know how to assess and understand what you create. If you are struggling, and would like to explore an alternative approach to more widely known mental health options might benefit you, contact Flourish Psychology, today!

Should You Expect – Or Want – Unconditional Love From Your Partner?

Should You Expect – Or Want – Unconditional Love From Your Partner?

There is this believe about marriage and relationships that love is, or should be, unconditional. That when we have found our “True Love,” it means that we are with someone that should love us at all times. There is even a popular saying about it.

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.”

We can have unconditional love for our children. But with our partner, not only is love typically not “unconditional,” but it also shouldn’t be. There are many valid, positive reasons for love not to be unconditional. We should always have expectations not only of our partner, but of ourselves.

Why Shouldn’t Love Be Unconditional?

Life is not a straight line, and two people are not always the same people with the same positive, honeymoon like dynamic. Throughout life as a couple, you and your partner are going to be experiencing constant ups and downs. You’re going to be faced with challenges and setbacks. You’ll also be changing often as people. Most people change considerably in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond.

In order to keep the love strong, a couple needs to also be motivated to change who they are and continually establish and re-establish their role in the relationship with their partner. Love has to be reciprocal and complementary in order to grow.

Unconditional love implies that, should someone make absolutely no effort, both partners should accept this openly and gleefully. It’s this assumption that your “worst” can be pretty much anything – crime, abuse, etc. – and you should put up with it, because you promised yourself and that person you would love them unconditionally.

Relationships that are unconditional provide no motivation for the other person to better themselves, and for both partners to put in effort in the relationship. Not only do truly unconditional romantic relationships rarely exist, the most successful couples are often the ones that feel a responsibility to keep the relationship going strong – the people that want to make sure they never lose it.

Couples Counseling and Growing as a Team

You can love your children unconditionally. But you and your partner benefit from feeling at least a little bit of pressure to evaluate your own behaviors and work on yourselves. The more you feel motivated to keep the relationship growing and thriving, the more you are putting yourself in a position to help it truly last.

Couples counseling is one way that both partners can learn to grow for themselves or each other. It provides an opportunity to help guide you as a couple into learning more about what your partner is thinking and what they need.

If you’re in need of couples counseling in Brooklyn, or anywhere in NYC, please contact Flourish Psychology today.

How We Are Reflected in Our Social Experiences

How We Are Reflected in Our Social Experiences

Human beings are, in many ways, meant to be social. Yes, many of us love our alone time. But we are a social species, and as such, our relationships often define for us who we are and where our life is. There is a reason that we, as a species, live longer and maintain our cognitive health when we have strong social connections.

But what if these social connections are not what we were seeking?

Sometimes, the social connections we create and develop are a reflection of how we feel internally and what we project onto the world. People that are drawn to us are sometimes drawn to us because of how we feel about ourselves, and people that we push away may be pushed away because our internal thoughts and emotions are telling them a story that they do not want to hear.

It’s Hard to Hide How We Feel

There are many situations where an emotion that we’re feeling or an issue we’re struggling with comes out, no matter how much we try to hide it. It doesn’t just come out in obvious ways, either. For example, if you find you’re struggling with anger, that doesn’t mean that your anger only comes out as shouting or yelling. In some ways, it can come out as a feeling people get when they’re around you, with subtle clues that they pick up on.

This can create situations where you’re pushing people away that may otherwise fill an important role in your life. For example, people that feel needy, or uncomfortable with others, or unhappy with themselves may present that to others in both apparent and subtle ways. They may be sharing that information with mannerisms or language choice or expressions that others pick up on and respond to accordingly.

If that happens:

  • The people that you desire a friendship with, and the ones that would be a good influence in your life, may find that they’re being unintentionally pushed away by these negative emotions and challenges. They may not feel like they can connect with you the way that you would normally be able to connect with them.
  • The people that you *do* attract may not be those that would be a good influence on your life. If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, for example, a person that you attract as a result may be someone that could take advantage of that – someone that finds low self-esteem to be an attractive personality trait.

You often hear friends and family recommend that you learn to love yourself before you focus on loving others. There may be some truth to that, as we want to make sure that the best possible emotions and personality traits are being reflected in the world.

This is not to say that you are only going to attract unwelcome people if you’re struggling, or that you are going to always push away those that may benefit your life simply because you have mental health challenges. But it is still likely to be beneficial to continue to work on your health, so that you can reflect the best possible version of yourself to others. If you would like help for your mental health, please contact Flourish Psychology, today.

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