We are inches away from back to school season, and if you’re a parent, you know what that means:
**screaming internally**
Back to school season can be nice for parents that need to focus on work or have an easier time managing their day to day lives. But it also means late nights doing homework, lots and lots of errands, kids that are likely going to be going through their own challenges, and so much more.
It is, for many of us, a stressful time. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be.
Back to school season is also a great time to consider connecting with a therapist you can talk to, to make this after school season both easier on you and easier on your children.
The Annual Stresses of School Build Up
It’s important for parents to understand that seasonal stresses, like back to school season, are not harmless. When we’re stressed every year for a significant portion of the year, those stresses can affect our short and long term mental health. They make us more tense, increase our anxiety, make it harder to enjoy the things we used to enjoy, and impact our relationships.
Some years we might be able to overcome it as things settle down. But what if that doesn’t happen? What if something else goes wrong during back to school season, or it puts added stress on your marriage, or your child is showing more symptoms of ADHD or learning difficulties and needs extra attention?
Many, many issues can arise, and when they do, it becomes something that can lead to further mental health challenges if you don’t have someone to talk to.
Therapists for Adults During September and October
Therapists are not *just* for back to school season. Yet this time period is often one where many parents realize they could use some ongoing mental health support.
Still, because it is such a busy season, it is also not a time when many people seek it out. This school year, it is best for your mental health and wellness to strongly consider speaking with a therapist ready to address your current AND ongoing challenges, help you work through your feelings, and provide you with help for stress, depression, and anxiety so that you can manage this back to school season (and the next one, and the one after that).
If you find that your stress levels are high this back to school season, and you’d like to finally address it, contact Flourish Psychology, today. We’re here to help you better manage your mental health and get the support you need to thrive this year and the next.
How Fear of a Climate Change Future Can Cause Couples to Struggle to Decide Whether to Have Children
This past month has been the hottest recorded global temperature in recorded history. But that is not new. The past few years have seen records broken one after another. It’s understandable for this to cause people distress, especially when most reports about the likely future with climate change are fairly grim.
These fears are causing people to alter their lives in preparation for a climate change future, and one of the ways they may do this is by reducing their desire to have children. This, in turn, can affect relationships, happiness levels, and more.
Living to Your Values
Now, the decision to have – or not have- children is uniquely personal, and there is no right or wrong reason. Fears over climate change may be perfectly valid reason, and there is no wrong choice when that choice comes from you and your values.
One of the challenges, however, is determining whether that choice is being affected by other factors, such as anxiety and depression. Many people are experiencing anxiety and depression as a result of climate change. Those conditions affect how a person thinks, how they make decisions, and more.
If you’re struggling with a climate-change related depression, and that is the reason you do not want to have children, then it may be worthwhile to work on that depression first before finalizing that decision. In the end, you may find that it is still very much within your values.
But you also do not want to wake up one day years into the future and regret the decision, either. If your decision was caused by anxiety/depression and not solely by your values and goals, then you may end up with regrets that can affect your mental health in the future. Evaluating how you’re feeling, why, and whether or not there is something worth treating first can thus be advantageous.
How Relationships and the Future Can Be Affected by Climate Change Fears
Similarly, the choice to have children is often one that people engage in as a couple. Partners may not have the same view of the climate or of the world. This is a decision you’ll often want to make together, and it would be harmful and hurtful if it was being influenced by anxiety/depression. It may affect your relationship together in ways that may not be ideal for your long term mental health.
Working with a Therapist
Therapy – either individually or with couples – can be a healthy and productive way to address and identify what your fears are and help you determine what your values are (yourself or you both as a couple). It can help you examine any internal struggles, whether or not you will be comfortable with your decision in the future, and what can be done to reduce anxiety should you ultimately decide that you may want a child but are still struggling with these fears.
Your choice to have children is personal and uniquely yours. But issues like anxiety can also cloud what your “true” self wants. Through therapy, we can determine what you really want, and – if anxiety is affecting your decision – how we can reduce your anxiety so that you can live with fewer regrets. Learn more about our therapy services by contacting Flourish Psychology, today.
One thing that therapists and lawyers often have in common is that we learn how to do our specific career (psychotherapy or law), but we’re often tasked with a second, very different career: running a business.
We’re trained to provide the services we know, and yet if we have our own practice, we often need to learn how to manage people, how to address conflict, how to market, and so much more. We’ve covered in the past how attorneys are often faced with the mental health challenges due working in a world of win/loss and black/white.
But when you add in issues related to business management, it can be easy to see why many attorneys are finding life to be overwhelming.
The Stress of Managing a Team
When you operate your own practice, you typically have a team of individuals working under you, all designed to support your work. You have paralegals, office staff, and more, some of whom have billable hours and others whose role it is to make sure the business side of your operations moves forward. That can be challenging when your training only teaches you how to be a lawyer.
If you’re struggling with these challenges, consider the following:
Speak with a Psychotherapist – Of course, step number one will be to speak with a therapist or counselor that will have a better understanding of what you’re struggling with and how to help. At Flourish Psychology, our therapists specialize in working with clientele in high pressure, high profile positions, including therapists that have completed their own legal training as well.
Assemble a Team You Trust – You are in position where you own the business and also are a participating, high profile part of it. Make sure the team around you works in line with your core values, and are people that you feel like you can trust based on their expertise and personality.
Delegate – It’s going to be challenging to manage the business and take the lead on legal matters. Once you’ve assembled this team, delegate. Micromanaging beyond what is necessary to do the work will only cause burnout and make it harder to lead.
Determine Your Management Style – Knowing yourself as a manager can help you live and work a bit more authentically, in a way that can make it easier to run the practice without it feeling like an additional burden.
Some people also bring on fractional CFOs and other similar leaders to help them learn to manage the business side of the business so that they can focus on the legal side. Remember, you do not have to take on all of it yourself. Others have the expertise and ability to take some of this work off your plate. For more information about our psychotherapy options for lawyers, please contact Flourish Psychology, today.
But let’s take a step back. What if it isn’t just social media that is affecting your mental health. What if it is the act of being on your phone at all?
Our Phones and Our Day to Day Lives
So many of us find that there is little time in the day to focus on ourselves – to take walks, to spend time with friends, to engage in hobbies, to spend quality time with our partners, and more. We need these activities to be our best selves and stay as psychologically healthy as possible. The problem is that there is just not enough time in the day.
… Or is there?
Most phones keep track of how much screen time you have looking at your phone, and if you review it, you may find that you’re spending anywhere from 2 to 8 hours of the day looking at your phone – out of only 16 hours that we spend awake.
When we spend that much time on our phones, then we’re not taking care of ourselves and we’re losing out on a significant amount of time that could have been available for things that are far more important to us. Even if you use it productively, that time is often seen as wasted, as it does not create memories that will help us through the hard times.
Time spend on your phone can also affect other things as well:
It activates our brain, causing us to feel less tired and potentially not get the sleep we need.
It turns us off to the rest of the world, causing us to look like we’re neglecting our partners or kids.
It prevents us from using our senses, as our phones only activate our eyes.
Studies have even shown that not all screen time is the same. Spending time watching quality television does not cause the same issues that phones do. Phones put your eyes on something in front of you, closing you off to the rest of the world. With television, you can typically hear and see what is going on around you, and interact with the world in positive ways.
What We Do On Our Phones vs Time on Our Phones
We know that what we do on our phones can impact our mental health, especially the time spent on activities like social media. But phones themselves, as a screen, are simply a worse choice for your mental health than many other activities. That is why it is so important to make sure that you unplug, and learn to control any phone addiction or other issues that cause you to feel like you need to be on your phone for a large chunk of the day.
For more information on living your best life, contact Flourish Psychology.
Most of us spend a lot of time working. At minimum 5 hours a week, 8 hours a day, and even more if we include commuting. Work itself is hard, and many of us – in any profession – can find it difficult to go from working all day to feeling happy and comfortable at home. There is a reason that, to address mental health, we often have to discuss the effects that our jobs have on us.
This is especially true, however, in the legal profession, and it is not only because the jobs themselves are fairly high stress. It is also because the legal profession, more than nearly any other profession, is one of the few jobs where a person is faced with black and white thinking – you either win, or you lose.
The Long Term Effects of Win/Loss Thinking
Rarely do we have to think in terms of wins and losses in most of our jobs. Work itself is typically gray area. A landscaper’s job isn’t winning and losing. A therapist’s job isn’t winning and losing. Even doctors do not typically deal with wins and losses every day (though they may have their own stresses related to loss in their profession).
But lawyers are different. Lawyers have to think in terms of winning. They have to look at cases to determine how they can win, and then – when they’re done – they have a peer that will almost literally tell them if they won or lost based on what they put together.
If they go to trial, they have a judge or, potentially, 12 other people that will tell them if they won or lost. Even in cases they win, this type of thinking, where you’re judged on your ability to win or lose, can have long lasting consequences.
This is believed to be why lawyers one of the careers most commonly linked to depression. When a person has black and white, win/loss thinking:
Every loss makes someone a “loser”
Every mistake means you’ve failed.
Every opposing counsel becomes an enemy.
You spend days at a time trying to get the information you need together to “win” a case, and even if you do win, you’re often constantly overthinking your choices and thinking about how someone else may prove you wrong. It is a lot to take on, and it’s something that you keep with you in other areas of your life. When you combine that same style of thinking with the stresses of the profession, it’s easy to see why depression can develop.
Depression, Black and White Thinking, and Therapy
Depression itself is, in many ways, a function of black and white thinking – where someone is either a winner or a loser. When you internalize your failures, you become more prone to thinking negatively about yourself leading to the conditions that can create depression.
Therapy, however, can help address this. Therapists that work with lawyers, like Flourish Psychology, can provide you with mental health tools that can break you out of this win/loss cycle and help you see yourself and the world in ways that are not so psychologically damaging. Through therapy, we can provide you with tools and guidance to get you to feel more comfortable with yourself and better able to function at your job. If you’re looking for a therapist that specializes in working with lawyers and those in high stress positions, contact Flourish Psychology, today.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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