Uncertainty can often be the enemy of comfort, and while there are many things in life that are uncertain, it is often helpful to have more clarity on some of the things that we do have control over.
That is one of the reasons that the holiday season can be a useful time for families to come together and address various forms of uncertainty. The conversations that you have today can go a long way towards reducing conflict, preventing anxiety, and improving outcomes in the future.
What Are Some Tough Holiday Conversations Worth Having?
First, a caveat. There are certainly many family relationships where communication and trust are a struggle. There are those that find the holiday season to be immensely stressful, because seeing family brings back these memories, stresses, and challenges that have been experienced in years past. In these situations, healthy boundaries are important, and there is no requirement to talk about heavy or important things that fall outside of your comfort zone.
But for those that are open to having important conversations with their families, these important holiday conversations can help you not only during the holidays, but long, long after. Examples include:
- Long Term Plans – If you have aging family members, or you are aging yourself, knowing and talking about your long term plans and strategies is often forgotten and yet *extremely important.* Proactively talking about medical issues, long term care, funeral needs, and more can be extraordinarily helpful in avoiding stress and anxiety when needs arise.
- Healing and Growth Together – If you and your family have had issues in the past or have felt disconnected or apart, talking about that now, over the holidays, when there are many opportunities to sit and have these important conversations can be a great way to start the healing and growth process. That’s something that can provide social support that will make your upcoming year much more emotionally manageable.
- Providing Honest Life Updates – Sometimes, it’s the things that are “unsaid” that are so difficult to manage. In situations where there is emotional, social, even financial news that might be something your family wants to or needs to hear, telling them can reduce that psychological burden of keeping that secret.
Some people even find “loving” conversations to be difficult. Many families do not say “I love you” enough, avoiding compliments and words of affirmation. But hearing and saying those words can have a very powerful impact on our mental health in the future, especially if unexpected difficulties arise.
Moving Forward Together
There is no requirement to be close to one’s family. Individuals with a history of trauma in their family, for example, should not feel like they “need” to have these types of conversations. If you have had difficulties with your family in the past, please consider reaching out to Flourish Psychology, today.
But for families that *can* have these tough conversations, consider prioritizing them. The longer you wait, the more likely an issue arises that is difficult for you to manage emotionally. If you know your family’s long term care needs, for example, then you can prepare for them as they arrive and know that you’re more ready for the road ahead. For those that are prioritizing their mental health, conversations with family over the holidays can be a part of what is needed to make sure that they have less stress in the future.