We often talk about social anxiety by referring to its effects on relationships. Yet, what make social anxiety so challenging and so problematic is that it affects us even when we are not engaging in social activities. Like other forms of anxiety, social anxiety is ongoing and constant, and it is in our best interests to make sure that we are addressing this anxiety so that we can improve not only our social life, but the rest of our decision making as well.
The Ways Social Anxiety Shapes Decision Making
Remember, social anxiety is always there. It does not just appear when you’re in a party or a meeting. It, like most forms of anxiety, touches everything that you do.
That means that it can also guide choices that you make throughout the day. It affects decisions you make about work, school, dating, marriage, and much more.
Many people living with social anxiety make decisions based on fear of judgment rather than personal preference or practical benefit. This can influence everything from small routines to major life paths.
- Avoiding Opportunities – A person with social anxiety may decline a job interview, pass on a promotion, or avoid signing up for a class because they anticipate embarrassment or fear not meeting expectations. These choices limit personal growth.
- Over-Preparation and Perfectionism – Decisions can become slowed by the need to prepare excessively. Writing an email, submitting work, or even posting online may require multiple drafts because of concern about how others might perceive mistakes.
- Choosing Convenience Over Preference – Something as simple as deciding where to shop or which restaurant to order from may be shaped by which option feels less likely to involve social stress, even if it is not the person’s preferred choice.
- Difficulty Saying “No” – Fear of disappointing others or being seen negatively can lead to agreeing to commitments that do not align with personal goals or comfort.
- Withdrawing from Conflict – When facing disagreements, the decision may be to avoid confrontation entirely, even at the expense of personal needs or fairness.
- Trouble Analyzing Others – Negative self talk may cause people to misunderstand social media posts, texts, and more, as they assume that other people do not see the world the way they do, leading to worse decisions.
Any decision that is fueled by anxiety is one that may not be right for the person experiencing it. Instead of going through life in such a way that they’re able to make decisions that benefit them, they may be choosing things not just based on the anxiety itself, but on the way it shapes their opinions.
The Ongoing Effects of Social Phobia
Another factor to consider is the way that social anxiety reinforces its own behaviors. When you make small decisions in the moment based on your social anxiety, you create patterns that reinforce avoidance behaviors and problematic thinking.
This both:
- Causes you to have more social anxiety and allow it to control you further.
- Leads to situations where you’re in a job, relationship, or something else you do not want, leading to more unhappiness and, ultimately, more anxiety about life.
This is one reason why social anxiety is never limited to social experiences. When you have social anxiety, it quietly influences everyday decisions, leaving less space for spontaneity, growth, or authenticity.
Moving Toward Healthier Decision Making
Addressing social anxiety means more than reducing fear in social events. It involves building awareness of how anxiety guides decisions and working to shift the decision-making process back toward personal goals rather than avoidance.
Even if you feel like your social anxiety is manageable – maybe you have a few close friends, or you’re in a good relationship, or you’ve accepted this anxiety as a part of yourself – it’s always touching the decisions you make and the behaviors you do.
Treat social anxiety instead. You’ll find that you’re happier and more fulfilled when your anxiety is in your control.