Society’s attitudes towards mental health have changed considerably from where they were even a few decades ago. Seeking therapy, especially in places like New York City, is considered normal and encouraged.
Still, many people have trouble asking for help. Not just with mental health, but with anything. They don’t like asking their friends to help them move. They have trouble asking their family for advice or emotional support. They feel uncomfortable asking coworkers to take on parts of their projects.
They believe that they NEED to handle things on their own. It’s a part of their upbringing, almost like an identity.
It’s hard to seek help from a therapist when you have this mindset. Yet, it’s important to also take a moment to show you seeking a therapist is NOT asking for help. At least not the way you’re thinking about it.
In fact, seeing a therapist is exactly the behavior that you expect from someone that is handling things on their own.
Let’s talk about what we mean.
Are You Asking for Help When You See a Doctor?
Imagine your leg got a cut with a painful infection. What would you do?
You would call the doctor. Obviously.
Is that “asking for help?” No. It’s actually handling things on your own. You had a problem, a doctor can solve it, so you called the doctor. You didn’t need help from anyone to do that. Calling a doctor was the way to handle it on your own.
What would happen if your car broke down?
You would call a mechanic, or a towing company. You would not be “asking others to help” you do that. You would be the one “handling it” by calling the towing company and getting your car repaired.
You get the idea here.
So what happens when you have trouble with your mental health?
You’re not “asking for help” by reaching out to a therapist. You are doing the logical step – GETTING help from the person that is most qualified to provide that help. You’re then paying that person to do their job by helping you improve your mental health.
All of this IS handling things yourself, because you are the one, all on your own, seeking the solution to your challenges.
The Psychological Effects Behind Asking for Help
In addition, depending on what you feel you are struggling with, the difficulty asking for help may be a symptom – or even a cause – of the condition.
For example, there are those that struggle with what’s known as “functional anxiety.” This is a term that refers to individuals that tend to overachieve. Anxiety almost becomes fuel that pushes them to accept more projects, work harder, work extra, and be perfectionists in everything they do. These individuals struggle with asking for help because their anxiety pushes them to accept everything that comes their way.
There are also those that take on too much because they feel it’s their responsibility to care for others. These individuals tend to have considerable problems “asking for help” because they were raised to be the caregivers of the family, or the person responsible for keeping things together. This can cause a person to feel overwhelmed, burnt out, and anxious. In this case, the person’s tendency to feel responsible for others is a possible cause of their anxiety, and thus something that needs to be addressed.
Find a Therapist for Your Mental Health
As you can see, the challenges people have asking for help can cause (or be caused by) a person’s mental health, and – if you think deeply about it – contacting a therapist is doing things on your own anyway. It is not a sign of weakness, it is not leaning on others, it is not inconveniencing anyone. It is seeking a problem (“I need help”) and solving it.
See what therapy can do for you. If you’re in New York, reach out to Flourish Psychology and let’s begin the process of getting you the support that your mental health needs.