Hobbies are important. More important than we give them credit for. Research into the idea of “leisure hobbies” indicates many potential benefits of maintaining hobbies for your mental health.
Hobbies are a great way to engage in a passion. They can also be a great way to make money. Many businesses started as hobbies. Etsy, for example, was a business literally started because its owner needed a way to sell these handmade wooden computers he made in his spare time. Bob Ross was just painting as a hobby before he made a name for himself as a television personality.
We live at a time where “hustle culture” is all the rage – what can you do to make some extra money? Are there hobbies that you have that can provide you with some extra money? Can you become a professional dog jogger because of your love of running? Can you rent out your home to photographers because of your amazing interior design skills?
There’s nothing wrong with trying to make a bit of extra money with your hobbies. Life is expensive. If you can make a bit of extra cash here and there doing something you love to do, go for it.
But it’s important to remember that you also don’t need to make every hobby of yours something you can make money off of. Sometimes, it’s just good to have a hobby.
The Benefits of a Hobby that Isn’t Monetized
It’s great if a hobby can make you money. But it’s also great to have hobbies that do not. That is because research into hobbies has shown that monetizing a hobby can reduce the joy of that hobby. This has even been proposed as a way to reduce childhood addiction to video games. Give them a few dollars to play, and eventually they’ll find playing less enjoyable.
Hobbies that you do just for fun – hobbies that you do just for YOU – have many benefits, including:
Improving your self esteem as you become good at something.
Teaching you to turn off your mind to outside distractions.
Giving yourself moments of fun in a stressful world.
You can monetize anything you want if you feel like you’re ready for it. But it is also perfectly reasonable to just have a hobby you can enjoy. Paint without worrying if someone will buy it. Craft something without worrying about someone buying it from you. Write a book without worrying about if someone reads it. If it brings you joy, then it has value that extends beyond money – value that you will experience for months and years to come.
The English Language has about 170,000 words that can be used to express everything from how to fix a Mustang to rocket science to love. But even 200,000 words is often not enough to fully convey what we’re experiencing, how we are feeling, and what we need to share. There are feelings and emotions and struggles where the English language is simply not enough, and unless we want to all learn dozens of other languages hoping to find the words we need to share how we feel, we need other ways to convey what the English language cannot.
That is why some patients find that what they need isn’t words at all. What they need is art therapy.
Why Art Therapy Exists
Art therapy is designed to do what words can’t. It’s designed to give people a way to convey things without worrying about whether or not they know the words to do it. Patients with trauma, that may have trouble expressing themselves, can use art to do it so that they do not have to find the words.
It is the ability of art therapy to help share thoughts and ideas in situations where words are not enough that makes it so valuable. Art is expression, and so using art therapy to express ends up giving the patient the ability to show the therapist what they need to say and work through those emotions together.
That is what makes art therapy so valuable. But it is also not the only benefit. Art:
Gives the patient a chance to process their emotions and traumas in a safe, productive way.
Takes it slow. Art isn’t fast, which means that art therapy doesn’t overwhelm the patient.
Starts a conversation. Working with a trained art therapist allows the therapist and the patient to have a starting point for the conversation.
Art therapy also does not have to be the only type of therapy. It can be a complementary therapy to other treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Combining therapies is thought to make the process more effective, allowing the patient multiple avenues to recovery.
The English language may have 170,000 words. But sometimes, all you really need is a paintbrush. Learn more about art therapy and how it allows for better self-expression by contacting Flourish Psychology, today.
We are thrilled to introduce a new therapist here at Flourish Psychology: Keshia Webb-Lavergne.
Keshia is a profoundly gifted therapist capable of addressing common concerns with anxiety, depression, stress, grief, and relationships/couples. As a woman of color, she is also both intimately familiar with and trained to provide support for issues such as race-related stress, racial identity, and an understanding of the unique needs of black couples in today’s environment.
Keshia views therapy as a “collaborative journey.” She is warm and comforting, and will create an environment where you feel seen, welcomed, and supported. She also strongly believes in moving you forward and helping your progress. She views patients not as diagnoses, but as people that are looking to improve their life and take control of their wellness.
Together, the two of you will work to accomplish your personal goals and learn more about yourself in the process. Keshia is amazing, and we are so excited to have her as a part of Flourish Psychology. Start working with Keshia by contacting Flourish Psychology, today.
The Gottman Method of couples counseling has many interesting concepts that address some of the ways that our behaviors play a role in relationship satisfaction. One of those concepts is called “bids.” Multiple times throughout the day, a partner uses these “bids” with the other partner, and how the other partner responds to these bids plays a key role in how happy both partners feel about each other.
What Are Bids?
“Bids” is shorthand for the need for some type of positive interaction with a partner. When a person makes a “bid,” they are typically asking for something like attention, love, support, affection, or intimacy. Examples might include reaching for a partner’s hand or asking the partner to cook with them. Sometimes, the bids are not necessarily a request, but the beginning of something, like asking a question to them when they walk into a room like “how was work?”
Bids occur many, many times during the day, often by both partners.
What Are “Bid Responses?”
When one partner makes a “Bid,” the other partner is tasked with responding. According to the Gottman Method, bids may receive the following three response types:
Turning Towards – Turning towards the bid is the act of responding to the bid at all. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person engages with each bid, but it does mean that there is a positive acknowledgment, gesture, or some type of interaction that indicates that the bid has been received.
Turning Away – Turning “away” in this case means ignoring the bid or not responding positively. For example, not moving when someone reaches to hold hands or staring at their phone instead of responding to a question. Turning “away” is not necessarily a hostile gesture, but showing disinterest or not prioritizing the response to a bid.
Turning Against – Turning “against” is actively rejecting the bid. These have a bit of a hostile component, such as purposefully moving a hand away, negatively responding to a question, or pushing someone away when they move in for a kiss.
Turning away or turning against are both potentially damaging to the relationship. But it should be noted that these actions are not always conscious or designed to be hostile. Sometimes, it is an action taken because they do not have an awareness that their partner is making a “Bid.”
How Responding to Bids Can Improve Relationships
When a couple is having problems, the therapist may look at examples of these bids and work with the couple to teach a higher frequency of positive bid responses. The goal is to teach the idea of “turning toward” more often. Couples that “Turn Toward” and respond more positively to bids are more likely to feel positive and more connected in their relationship. By improving this intimacy, the couple is more likely to feel happy and satisfied with their partner.
Major depression and bipolar disorder – two of the most common types of depression – can often be lifelong and ongoing without help. While both are treatable, both typically result in thoughts and behaviors that feed into a cycle of depression that keeps the symptoms constant or, in some cases, making them worse. Psychotherapy and related support are often required to overcome these conditions. Postpartum depression is a bit different. While it is unfortunately true that some women do experience ongoing symptoms of postpartum depression (PPD) if it is left untreated, many others overcome PPD almost spontaneously – weeks or months down the road, when the transition to parenthood has settled, hormones have balanced, and both partners have been able to figure out their co-parenting roles. It is because PPD can go away on its own (even though that is not a guarantee) that many women do not seek treatment. But the problem is that, even in situations where PPD has faded away, the effects and experience of that post-partum depression can be long-lasting.
Ways that Post-partum Depression is Traumatic
PPD is, in many ways, traumatic. Most people expect having a baby to be this joyful, exhilarating event. But a large percentage of women end up experiencing at minimum a mild form of post-partum depression (known as the “baby blues”) and many others experience more profound and heavy emotions with symptoms such as emptiness, loneliness, sadness, and depressed mood.
Those negative emotions can have many long-term consequences, even after the PPD has gone away. Many women experience:
Fear over having another child. There are many women that experience anxiety over having PPD again, and some women that will avoid future pregnancies specifically because they do not want to experience postpartum depression.
Guilt and shame over not fully appreciating the baby’s first few months. PPD can make it difficult for new mothers to bond with their baby. After the PPD goes away, many women feel guilt about the experience and feel sadness that they did not fully enjoy those days.
Reliving the experience. Many women remember vividly what it was like to live with PPD. They may have flashbacks or extreme levels of empathy for other moms. They may also still have issues with their partner that resulted from their PPD experiences.
These are only a few of the ways that postpartum depression is traumatic for the moms that experience it. Many women that have postpartum depression struggle with the effects of it long after the PPD has gone away.
Trauma Needs Support
Not everyone will overcome postpartum depression on their own. But even those that do can still live with the effects of having it long after the postpartum depression has gone away. Those emotions benefit from ongoing support by counselors and therapists that understand how to work with both PPD, trauma, anxiety, and more.
Postpartum depression may be common. But we have therapies now that can help address not only the PPD itself, but the months and years after. Seeking help is beneficial for anyone that feels they are struggling, and no one should feel like they need to “wait it out” alone.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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