It’s Hard to Make Decisions – But It’s Even Harder Not To
Frequently, throughout life, we’re faced with choices. We have to choose where to go for dinner. We have to choose what show to watch next. We have to choose where we want to live, what shoes to wear with our outfit, what to name our dog.
Some of these choices are easy. Others are much harder.
But regardless of difficulty, most of us will, at times, face situations where we simply cannot seem to make a choice. This has a term – choice paralysis. Faced with the need to make a decision, we struggle, and eventually do nothing at all.
How Choice Paralysis Manifests
Choice paralysis refers to situations where, faced with more than one option, we pause on making a choice and ultimately – either intentionally or unintentionally – choose to do nothing at all. There are many examples of this in action:
Sometimes, choice paralysis is caused by being overwhelmed by choices. For example, if you’re scrolling Netflix looking for the next show to watch, there might be so many shows to choose from that you keep scrolling and struggle to make a decision, ultimately watching nothing.
Sometimes, choice paralysis is caused by the choice being too significant. “Should I buy this home” for example is a huge financial decision, and some people do nothing as the home they wanted gets taken by someone else.
Sometimes, choice paralysis is caused by just an overall lack of motivation. “What job should I apply for?” can be a bit stressful, and if you’re not fully motivated, that stress can then lead to simply not making a decision at all, and giving up.
Choice paralysis can be caused by anxiety, ADHD, stress, or nothing at all. But in all scenarios it creates a problem: if you freeze when you need to make decisions, then one of two things might happen:
You run out of time and make the wrong decision and rush to any decision, even if it wasn’t the right one.
You make no decision at all and nothing happens or changes for you.
Either way, it’s easy to envision how this is a problem. If you aren’t making decisions – or you’re not making the right decisions – then you aren’t going to be able to achieve your goals.
What Happens Next?
Choice paralysis is a real issue. It’s something that stands directly in the way of you being able to achieve your dreams and goals.
But addressing it requires an understanding of what it comes from. What is your thought process? Why is it occurring? What are the goals you’re trying to reach and what do YOU need to help you get there?
This will be different for every individual, which is why it is so important for us to meet and discuss your needs. But achieving your dreams and goals requires making sure you have the confidence to make decisions, self-knowledge so that you can motivate yourself, and more.
If you find that you have trouble with these types of decisions, reach out to the therapists at Flourish Psychology today. Let’s start you on a path to reaching your goals and removing choice paralysis from your life.
Anxiety is complex. It is not something that happens overnight, nor is it something that necessary has a single cause. Trauma can cause anxiety. So can chronic stress. Genetics can also play a role. But many people do not realize that anxiety can be caused by a variety of factors, contributing to its development and maintenance.
Let’s talk about some examples:
Anxiety Can Be Caused by Your Breathing
We touched on this in the past, when we wrote about how undeveloped back muscles can contribute to anxiety, but it is worth reiterating here. How you breathe can not only make anxiety symptoms worse, but actually create anxiety itself.
When you breathe in a shallow way, you stress out your body and your brain. You feel worse, make your stress worse, and create a scenario where you are more prone to experiencing anxiety symptoms.
Now, anxiety and stress can cause you to breathe poorly. But so can issues like bad posture. We also breathe worse when we’re leaning over on our phones, and we breathe worse when we spend time reading about stressful things (like the news), causing temporary stress/anxiety that can lead to more significant anxiety disorders down the road.
Anxiety Can Be Caused by Scrolling
Most people are loosely aware, or have heard about, the effects that social media can have on your mental health. Many people develop eating disorders, depression, and low self-esteem from issues related to what they see on social media caused by comparisons, jealousy, and so much more.
But what you may not be aware of is that the simple act of scrolling social media – literally just watching videos or looking at photos – can cause anxiety.
The reason is due to something called “digital overload.” We touched on this in a post directed at influencers, but what many people do not realize is that their brains are simply not equipped to process that much information at once. When you scroll something like TikTok or Facebook, you are essentially viewing thousands of unrelated videos and faces, along with jokes, scenery, and more all in moments.
You may feel like it’s no big deal. After all, you view videos all the time and you do not *feel* stressed. But, as you watch these videos, your brain is trying to process everything and becoming overloaded. You may feel calm and relaxed while scrolling, but your brain is stressed. Over time, that stress can lead to the development of anxiety disorders, or make an anxiety disorder worse.
Clutter
Digital overload is an example of what happens to our brains when there is simply too much stimulation as a direct result of viewing countless videos. But while it’s not quite as severe, this type of thing can occur in the offline world as well.
Clutter can be an example of this. Though it does not affect everyone the same way, and thus is not going to trigger anxiety for everyone, there are many people that find that the act of being surrounded by clutter can cause them stress, and ultimately anxiety.
Part of the reason for this is still related to this idea of overload. When there is “stuff” all over a house, then the whole house has stimulation that can make you uncomfortable, stressed, and anxious. But beyond that, one of the effects of clutter is that it reminds you that you have a lot to do. Your home is no longer relaxing, but instead another reminder of stresses. If you already experience things like work stress, then clutter is expected to make that worse.
The Complexity of Anxiety and the Clarity of Treatment
All of these are examples of challenges that can lead to anxiety. But the thing about anxiety is that it’s not typically “cured” by simply removing these issues. Exercising your back muscles isn’t going to suddenly cure you even if you start breathing well again. Once anxiety has developed, it is still anxiety, and will benefit from therapy and mental health support.
Still, it is helpful to know these other potential contributors. Many people, when they have anxiety, try to think back and imagine what the cause might have been. Sometimes, we find a clear cause. Other times, it’s a combination of issues – including the strange examples above – that create anxiety symptoms.
Rather than overthink the cause, what is most important is seeking treatment. If you need help with your anxiety, reach out to Flourish Psychology, today.
One of our specialties here at Flourish Psychology is treatment for eating disorders. Our team of therapists has significant experience working at a high level with eating disorders and those struggling with their relationship with food.
Now that we’re in the new year, many people are choosing weight loss as their new year’s resolution. We know from experience that this can be the beginning (or a continuation) of a problem with disordered eating. All sizes fit, and those that feel like they need to improve their body shape typically are struggling with a mental health issue, not a body shape issue.
Still, another issue that comes into play is that most people do not typically understand how the body works, how nutrition works, and what this can do to our long term mental health. Not only is “weight loss” not often a healthy goal, but it’s also something that may not be possible with a traditional understanding of nutrition, and lead to issues that can contribute to worsening mental health.
An Introduction to Weight Set Points
Most people have not heard of the term “weight set point,” but it is perhaps the most important term for someone to know when they’re thinking about their weight and health.
Our bodies have, encoded within it, a specific weight that they are trying to maintain. A weight “Set Point” that your body believes it needs to try to reach at all times in order to maintain optimum health and efficiency.
This set point affects how your body responds to what you eat. Depending on how much your weight has changed and what you’re eating, it might:
Increase your hunger.
Reduce your metabolism.
Alter your energy levels.
All of this is completed with the goal of helping your body get back to the set point weight. So what happens if you, in an effort to “lose weight,” reduce your caloric intake? Even if you do lose a few pounds off the scale, you are also more likely to experience:
Increased hunger, which may make it more difficult to reach your goal.
Slowed metabolism, so it takes less calories to increase weight.
Low energy, making you less mobile.
All of these can harm your health, make it difficult to sustain your weight, and more.
How Does This Affect Mental Health?
All of those are physical health issues that relate to weight loss as a goal. But the effects of these changes affect your mental health as well. Not only are conditions like anxiety and depression more likely if you’re stressed (which may occur if your body feels it doesn’t have enough nutrition), but it may also:
Lead to excessive caloric restriction. Those that are determined to stick with their goal may have to cut more and more calories to try to continue to reach their goals as their metabolism slows and their energy levels decrease, leading to dangerously low levels of nutrients and the developments of eating disorders.
Developing body dysmorphia, a precursor to eating disorders. For those that do not cut calories further, finding that your body doesn’t change can increase the risk of body dysmorphia. People tend to start judging their bodies more harshly when they realize they’re not able to get the weight that they’re trying achieve. Body dysmorphia increases the risk for eating disorders in the future.
Anxiety/depression from failure. Even for those that do not restrict calories further, or experience body dysmorphia, it can be difficult to work so hard and still not achieve your goals. In fact, not only will your set point weight bring you back to where you were prior to your new year’s resolution, but there’s evidence that the slowed metabolism from caloric restriction can raise the set weight point – meaning, you may end up with a higher weight than when you started.
As specialists with eating disorders, we want people to succeed at their goals. “Weight loss” as a new year’s resolution, however, is both not a healthy goal in general and one that can lead to eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues in the future.
How to Develop Psychologically Healthy New Years Goals
Rather than focus on things like weight loss, focus on your mental health. Your mental health plays a role in your ability to meet other goals you have in your life, including your confidence, your relationships, and even your body. The more you focus on your psychological health, the better the results will be. Get started today with Flourish Psychology.
2025 is around the corner, and now is as important a time as any to remind everyone that, while you do not need to have any New Year’s Resolutions, it is still important to use these new year milestones to remind yourself that it’s okay to care about yourself and your wellbeing.
One story that we hear often around this time that relates to this is relief when plans are canceled. Many people say, casually, that they are stressed about some upcoming social experience. Suddenly they get a text that the event is canceled, and instead of feeling sad that they won’t see their friends or family, they experience relief that they will not have to attend.
This relief can often lead to guilt. It may even be a source of humor – something that you joke about with others. But it also shows how important it is that we start prioritizing your mental health above all else.
We Have Too Much Going On
Many of us simply have too much going on in our lives at the moment. It’s becoming difficult for us to manage all the tasks we have to do during the week and then, when the weekend comes and so many of us need rest, we agree to plans that we may not even want to attend because we feel like we have some sort of social obligation, or we have a fear of missing out of the event if the rest of our friends go.
It’s normal to feel this way. But it also reflects that we’re often agreeing to activities too easily, before we’ve had an opportunity to get the rest that we desire. We’re saying “yes” to things when we aren’t truly able to enjoy them, and when we haven’t had a good opportunity to care for ourselves and what we need.
Give Yourself Rest Days
Everyone needs rest days. They need time to do nothing but relax and refresh from a long week of work, school, kids, etc. If you’re finding that you’re agreeing to plans when you’re not ready for them, because you haven’t been able to take that time to yourself, then maybe 2025 is the year where you prioritize your rest days.
You can address issues like the fear of missing out or the social obligations by scheduling something else at a time when you think you’ll be ready with the people you’re hoping to see. You can also get more from your rest days by logging off and taking time to truly rest, meditate, and do what you need to do to feel refreshed so that the next social plans you have you can be excited for, rather than worried and stressed that you still have no time to rest.
Then, as long as you’re intentional on your rest day (staying relaxed instead of busy and stressed with other tasks), you’ll find you’ve got far more energy for the next get together and much less stressed about the idea that plans will go through. You may even find you have more energy to be yourself as well.
This year, prioritize your mental health, whether it’s through how you spend your time, therapy, or something else. Contact Flourish Psychology today if you’d like more personalized care, and happy new year!
One of the most common responses to the idea of seeing a therapist is that they can figure things out on their own. Many people, regardless of their education, income level, background, or the severity of their mental health struggles, often feel like all they need is to do a little research, complete a few exercises, and they can address their mental health by themselves.
Part of the reason that so many people feel this way is that we now have a wealth of access to information that can make people feel like experts. For example, you can read everything there is to know about something like cognitive behavioral therapy, including the methods and techniques used, and feel like you now know how to perform therapy.
But there’s something that many people should understand about mental health: no one does it alone. Not even therapists.
Therapists Know How Important it is to See Therapists
You might think that a therapist – a person specifically trained to provide mental health services – would not require or benefit from receiving a mental health treatment from someone else. But you would be wrong. In fact, therapists see therapists at an extremely high rate.
Although exact numbers will never truly be known, most people estimate that as many as 60% to 80% of all therapists are either currently seeing a therapist or have seen one for an extended period of time while they have operated a practice.
These are all individuals that deeply know and understand the mental health world, including how modalities like CBT and attachment and commitment therapy work, and yet they still see therapists themselves in order to address and improve their mental health.
Why?
The reason is because even though therapy is quite structured, and therapists like our team at Flourish Psychology are extensively trained, only a second person can:
Point out where our thinking is faulty or where we need to adjust our mindsets.
Keep us accountable in ways that we cannot do for ourselves.
Help us see different paths and new perspectives.
Listen when we have something we need to share to another person.
Therapists know that there is so much value to seeing a therapist that nearly all of us have, will, or do see a therapist at some point in our careers – and not only if we’re struggling with a mental health condition, but also simply because it’s helpful for our careers and our personal life to do so.
It’s Difficult to Take Things On Alone
It’s challenging to “go it alone.” No matter how much we feel like we can do it by ourselves when we’re struggling, the truth is that no matter how much you understand about mental health and how motivated you are to address it, seeing a therapist on your own is the best way to make sure that you’re getting the support you need.
If you are in need of any mental health support, contact Flourish Psychology today. It’s always better to speak to someone than it is to try to handle your mental health alone, and the benefits of seeing a therapist are substantial no matter how you’re feeling.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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