Most people are aware of couples counseling, often viewing it as a last resort for when marriages and relationships are on the brink of failure. We at Flourish Psychology in Brooklyn are trying to reframe the idea of couples counseling for what it really is: a way to learn how to better communicate and understand each other to grow a relationship.
Couples counseling is about skill building and creating better understanding between couples. It is about:
- Learning how to communicate.
- Learning how to manage your lives together and apart.
- Learning how to parent together, and/or engage in activities together.
While these tools are going to have some of their greatest benefit to couples currently in a relationship that are looking for ways to address arguments or enhance their intimacy, they are skills that benefit people in ways far beyond the marriage alone.
How You Communicate Post-Divorce
In some cases, post divorce, both couples move on with their lives and never have any additional contact. But those situations are rare. Typically, with or without kids, the couple is going to still be in ongoing contact. They may share friends, they may live in the same area, they may still have a relationship in some form after the marriage is over.
If kids are involved, the likelihood of ongoing contact is even greater. Both partners are going to be tasked with coparenting and navigating the world as separate individuals with children in common. Anger, aggression, frustration, and sadness can all get in the way of that. That is why, even if a couple is certain that they are not right for each other, couples counseling may have many benefits.
Through couples counseling, we can work on many important issues that affect post-divorce couples:
- How to communicate effectively about the needs of the children.
- How to accept the other person’s life they have for the child.
- How to make sure that issues relating to assets are navigated.
- How to handle any conflict that may arise later.
- How to cope with uncommunicated feelings that come up when alone.
Rarely does divorce mean the end of communication between both parties, and if there are children in the marriage, then that becomes even more likely that both of you are going to still be in regular contact. Not only will you be communicating regularly, but after a divorce, each partner is not able to police how the other partner acts, so you are likely to have disagreements with issues like parenting.
This is why couples counseling in Brooklyn and NYC can be so important, even after a divorce. Couples counseling is not only about saving your marriage. It is about gaining the skills needed to continue to function together in a way that is best for both of your mental health and happiness – and possibly that of your children as well. Learn more about couples counseling or get started with Flourish Psychology, today.