Rejection is difficult. We know from experience applying for jobs or asking someone on a date that it can hurt to get rejected. Many people find rejection as painful, if not more painful, then insults and name calling. We tend to take rejection very personally, even in situations where it is not necessarily meant to be a personal attack.
Some people, however, experience rejection in an even more painful and more intense way. This is sometimes referred to as “Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria,” where an individual’s response to rejection is so personal, painful, and pronounced, it becomes overwhelming and potentially long lasting – affecting their mental health and behaviors in the future.
What Makes Rejection a “Dysphoria?”
“Dysphoria” refers to a “state of dissatisfaction and unease with life.” Most of us hate being rejected, but we can overcome it. We can find a way to push through, or not let it define who we are.
But some people take this a step further – rejection of any kind, even minor, becomes a triggering event, something that is so intense it can alter behavior and create overwhelming feelings of shame and emotional distress.
This is “Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.” It is more common with those that have ADHD, but can affect others as well. Symptoms may include:
- Sensitivity to Criticism – People with RSD may have an extreme sensitivity to criticism, whether it is direct, implied, or perceived. Even well-meaning feedback can feel devastating, leading to a prolonged emotional response.
- Fear/Phobia of Rejection – Individuals with RSD may develop a deep-seated fear of rejection in social, professional, or personal settings. This fear can cause them to avoid situations where they might be judged or rejected.
- Emotional Outbursts as a Response to Rejection – Rejection or criticism can trigger intense emotional reactions, ranging from tearful outbursts to sudden withdrawal or emotional numbness. These reactions often occur quickly and without warning.
- Low Self-Esteem – Because of the intense focus on perceived criticism or rejection, individuals with RSD may struggle with low self-esteem or a negative self-image. They may be highly critical of themselves and overly dependent on external validation.
- Trouble in Relationships, Personal and Professional – RSD can make maintaining personal and professional relationships challenging. People with RSD might overreact to comments or behaviors that seem critical, leading to conflicts or withdrawal from relationships.
Individuals with RSD may avoid opportunities that could expose them to criticism, which can limit personal growth or career advancement. In addition, the intense emotional pain associated with RSD can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, and social isolation if left unmanaged.
Despite its challenges, it’s possible to manage RSD and reduce its impact over time with appropriate strategies and support. By addressing the emotional intensity and underlying fears associated with rejection, individuals with RSD can work towards healthier relationships and improved mental well-being.
If you need help with rejection, whether you suspect you have RSD or not, please contact Flourish Psychology, today.