Though not as prevalent as depression or anxiety, PTSD is a serious mental health condition that affects millions of people across the world. In the past, the condition was known as “shell shock” or “combat fatigue” due to the distress experienced by soldiers after World Wars I and II. In 2021, we know that PTSD is not unique to military veterans, but can affect people from all walks of life. This disorder affects 3.5% of Americans, though women and people of color are disproportionately affected, due to racial and gender-based trauma.
What is post-traumatic stress disorder?
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition brought on following exposure to a traumatic event. People living with PTSD are often plagued by distressing thoughts, dreams or flashbacks related to the traumatic incident. It is possible to experience a traumatic event without developing PTSD. It is also possible to reduce or eliminate the symptoms of PTSD with proper treatment and support.
While living with PTSD, it is common to have very intense and disturbing thoughts and feelings, even long after the traumatic event has passed. It is possible to continue reliving trauma for years, even if you do not get any obvious reminders of the incident. Nightmares, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts are all common experiences for persons with PTSD
what are the causes of ptsd?
Post-traumatic stress disorder is caused by exposure to a traumatic event. This can be repeated exposure or a single incident. Types of events that can lead to PTSD include physical or sexual assault or abuse, serious accidents, war, abject poverty and being a survivor of domestic violence. Surviving a natural disaster or widespread disastrous event is another common cause of PTSD. The COVID-19 pandemic is considered a traumatic event.
Seeing or hearing other people being hurt or killed can also lead PTSD, even if you are not personally physically harmed by the incident. Women, LGBTQ people and people of color who experience discrimination based on their gender, sexuality or race can also experience PTSD.
signs and symptoms of ptsd
PTSD is diagnosed by evaluating your response to a traumatic event. Your clinician will ask you a series of questions to determine whether you fit certain criteria in order to diagnose you with PTSD and determine the best treatment plan for you.
The first criterion is the exposure to a traumatic event, which can come in the form of directly experiencing or witnessing an event or learning that the event has happened to a loved one. For those who witness distressing events in the context of work (such as police officers and first responders), repeated exposure can also lead to PTSD.
PTSD causes recurring, involuntary and intrusive memories of the traumatic event. Sometimes these memories seem to appear out of nowhere and other times, they are triggered by a visual, sound or even smell. People living with PTSD also experience distressing nightmares or flashbacks related to the event, which may feel incredibly real.
PTSD is also characterized by avoidance of certain places, people or situations that may trigger memories of the event. This can come in the form of intentionally taking a different route to avoid being near the vicinity of the incident, refusing to partake in certain activities or conversations and even being unable to listen to certain songs.
effective ways to treat ptsd
Fortunately, there are many research-backed, effective methods of managing and treating PTSD. By working with a therapist, the most ideal treatment plan will be determined for you, which may be one or more of these methods.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that seeks to change the way you think, feel and behave. It is incredibly effective at treating depression and anxiety, as well as post-traumatic stress disorder. Trauma-focused CBT enables you to come to peace with the event by helping to change the way you think about it and the way you think about yourself in the context of the event. Many people who experience traumatic events begin believing that they were at fault for what happened, that they deserved it or constantly fear that it may happen again. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps you to rationally address your intrusive thoughts and replace them with more helpful messages.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapeutic modality that has been scientifically proven to significantly reduce symptoms of PTSD. Your therapist will ask you to recall the traumatic incident in detail while making certain movements with your eyes or being exposed to external stimuli such as hand tapping and other sounds. EMDR helps to “rewire” your brain to help you move past your intrusive thoughts about the incident.
Progressive Counting
Progressive counting (PC) is a fairly new, but well-researched treatment for PTSD and other trauma-related conditions. It has been shown to teach people how to regain control during racing thoughts, enabling you to make healthier decisions in the moment. During a PC session, your therapist will ask you recall the traumatic incident as if it were a movie while the therapist counts out loud. You repeat the story, but for a longer count this time. As you gradually recall more and more of the incident, you are able to emotionally process and heal.
As a person living with trauma, it’s understandable if you feel stuck or if it’s difficult for you to move on from your past. The therapists at Flourish Psychology can offer support and guidance on your journey to healing. By combining empathy and expertise, your clinician will determine the best treatment plan, so you can find peace and begin to thrive again. Contact us today to begin working with a therapist.
Mental health and finances are intrinsically linked. In a capitalist world where money impacts almost everything, we are bound to be emotionally and mentally affected by our finances. Financial concerns are the leading cause of stress and anxiety for American adults, which can easily lead to depression, as well as feelings of guilt or shame. Money affects our self-esteem, our relationships and our ability to show up in the world.
Here are just a few ways that mental health and finances are linked, as well as tips for developing a healthier relationship with your money.
Mental Health and Impulsive Shopping
A little retail therapy every once in a while can be a lot of fun, especially if done responsibly. But for many people, this can easily turn into impulsive or excessive spending that can lead to high consumer debt and depleted savings. When going through depression, it’s very common to make purchases to help you to feel better. Shopping can provide temporary excitement or happiness that you may later regret.
There are some strategies you can try if you notice that your spending is getting out of hand due to depression or impaired mental health. One method is to specifically budget “fun money” that is set aside for shopping, going out to eat or other enjoyable activities. By planning for this in advance, you can ensure that you don’t dip into your savings or into money that should be used for other purposes. Another helpful strategy is to come up with a list of free or low-cost activities that you can turn to when you are feeling low.
If your impulsive spending has gotten out of control, you can also benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Sometimes, we use spending to avoid uncomfortable emotions that we should be addressing. A therapist can help you to uncover the reasons for your excessive spending, which is the first step to curbing it.
Financial Stress and Anxiety
Without a doubt, money is the number one source of stress and anxiety for American adults. We constantly worry about whether we are making enough, saving enough, spending too much and whether we are sufficiently preparing for our financial future. Financial difficulties can create a sense of scarcity and can even cause tension in your relationships. The stress of your finances can leave you feeling depressed or anxious, which in turn makes it harder to manage your finances.
It’s important to remember that your mental health is a priority, even in the face of financial difficulty. Finding affordable ways to take care of yourself and to enjoy life can enable you to be mentally healthy enough to handle the difficulties that may come your way. Remember that most people experience financial difficulty at some point, so don’t be ashamed to talk to a trusted friend or partner. Even if they are unable to provide practical solutions, having a strong support system is a key element of taking care of your mental health.
For more practical assistance, you may wish to discuss your finances with a professional such as a financial advisor. Armed with tools and knowledge, you can feel more confident in your ability to improve your finances, which can alleviate some of your stress and anxiety.
Guilt and Shame Surrounding Finances
In a capitalist society, we are often judged by the contents of our bank accounts and our level of financial stability. For this reason, it’s very common to develop feelings of guilt and shame surrounding your finances. You may feel as if you haven’t made enough progress with your savings or debt payments, or you may feel guilty about overspending or being unable to afford certain things. Some people even feel guilty because they earn more money than their peers, which can lead to tension or jealousy in relationships.
It’s normal to feel an occasional twinge of guilt after a pricy night out or shopping trip, but if you are in a constant state of shame about your finances, this will affect your overall mental health. It is helpful to determine whether your feelings of guilt are based on your financial reality, or if you are simply being too hard on yourself when your finances are not that bad. Guilt is an emotion that can indicate that you may need to make some changes in your life, but if you are feeling needlessly guilty, it can be helpful to discuss these feelings with a therapist. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly helpful for addressing chronic guilt or shame.
ADHD and Money Management
For many people with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), money management can be a source of challenge and stress. ADHD is a chronic neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by symptoms such as procrastination, impulsivity and inattention. These traits can cause financial management to be particularly difficult for adults living with ADHD. Forgetfulness and inattention can easily lead to unpaid bills, losing track of your spending and an inability to get organized about your finances. The impulsivity that often comes with ADHD can lead to financial instability due to impulsive spending, as well as credit card debt or a depleted savings account.
Research indicates that adults living with ADHD tend to have higher levels of debt, less savings and less financial stability that their neurotypical counterparts. Due to limited knowledge about this disorder, many people don’t make the link between ADHD and impaired money management. Once you’re able to recognize the ways that ADHD impacts your life, you can begin to put systems in place to better manage your finances. Helpful strategies include automating bill payments and transfers to your savings account, so that these tasks can get done without you having to remember to do them.
If you have been experiencing stress, anxiety or depression related to anxiety, don’t be afraid to seek help. The clinicians at Flourish Psychology can help you to address any mental roadblocks to help you to develop a more positive relationship to your money. Schedule a free consult today to get matched with a therapist who meets your needs.
When COVID-19 became a threat in March of 2020, several measures were put in place to help curb the spread of the virus. In addition to mandatory mask-wearing and stay-at-home orders, many companies began implementing remote work policies which saw employees working from home instead of commuting to the office. Fast forward to the summer of 2021 and we’ve seen many strides in overcoming the pandemic. With many people now vaccinated and as quarantine restrictions become looser, companies around the world are requiring employees to return to the office as we try to usher in a post-COVID lifestyle.
Depending on your personal circumstances, you may be quite happy to return to the office, or you may be dreading it. Many people have come to enjoy the freedom and flexibility of working from home and the benefits it provides, such as reducing transportation and clothing expenses and the ability to take care of children and pets while working. Others miss their pre-COVID routines of commuting to an office because it allowed for better separation of personal and professional life. Others are simply more productive in an office setting or enjoy being able to interact with their coworkers. Regardless of your feelings towards returning to the office, it will certainly be a big transition for all of us after a year and a half of getting accustomed to remote work.
Evaluate Your Concerns
There are many understandable concerns that you may have about returning to the office. Maybe you’re concerned about the virus itself and whether a return to work may cause you to get sick. To help ease this anxiety, consider the methods you can use to keep safe. If you and your coworkers are vaccinated, there is a significantly smaller chance of contracting or spreading the virus. Regardless, it’s still a good idea to continue practicing social distancing, frequent sanitizing of your hands and wearing your mask. By using these safety measures, you can feel a bit more confident in your ability to stay healthy, which can help to ease your anxiety.
Maybe your concerns are about a lack of flexibility that may come with returning to the office. If you have come to enjoy working remotely and want to continue doing so, you may wish to consider all your options. Is there any room for negotiating with your employer? It may be possible to come to an agreement about a hybrid system where you come in office some days and work from home on other days. Otherwise, you may want to consider transitioning out of your current job by searching for one that allows for remote work. For many people, the pandemic was the catalyst they needed to make positive changes towards a more rewarding career.
Focus on the Positives
We all know the many benefits of positive thinking. Positive thinkers are better able to cope with challenging or distressing situations and tend to have better mental and physical health. By taking an optimistic view of a situation, it can become a lot more manageable, but by focusing on the negatives, the experience is likely to be a drag.
Even if you are reluctant to return to the office, see if you can find something to look forward to about heading back. One benefit of working in an office is the ability to better separate your personal and professional life. For many people who work from home, work never seems to stop because there is no real line of demarcation between the office and the home. Coming home to your comfort zone after a day of work is often a satisfying feeling because you’re able to leave work at the office, which is a lot more difficult when you work at home.
Another potential positive about returning to the office is an increase in productivity. For many workers, the home office is a place of many distractions such as family members, pets or the doorbell. A lot of people are able to perform more efficiently in an office setting, leading to a better quality of work and higher satisfaction on the job.
For many people, lockdown was a lonely time and a return to the office brings a welcome opportunity to interact and socialize with colleagues. Teamwork can be a lot easier and more fun when teammates are working together in person. Though Zoom is convenient, there’s nothing quite like collaborating and brainstorming in person.
Setting Boundaries at the Office
Working in an office makes it easier to leave work at work. You’re better able to set boundaries with your time and manage people’s expectations of you. Now is the time to evaluate the boundaries that you wish to set with your coworkers and superiors. Maybe you will not answer work-related calls or emails after 5:00 and on the weekends. This kind of boundary might have been more difficult to set when working from home, because there may be an expectation that you are always on the clock.
In a post-COVID world, we also need to consider setting boundaries with our physical space. Whether or not you are vaccinated, it’s still a good idea to continue practicing social distancing as much as possible. You may have to prepare yourself to set boundaries regarding handshakes, hugs and other physical contact, depending on your own comfort level. If these kinds of conversations are difficult for you, try practicing them ahead of time so you will know exactly what to say to coworkers if the need arises.
Make Self-Care a Priority
As with any major life transition, it’s important to practice self-care to ensure that your physical and emotional needs are being met. You may need to create a new self-care routine that is compatible with your life at the office. For example, you may wish to develop a new morning routine to ensure a peaceful and enjoyable start to your days. Ensure you are keeping a healthy sleep schedule by going to bed at an early enough time and at about the same time every night. Starting your day with sufficient rest, a healthy breakfast and even a spiritual practice can lead to a better day at the office.
Here at Flourish Psychology, we understand that work contributes to your overall happiness and sense of purpose in life. Counseling with a therapist can help you to identify and work towards a more satisfying and fulfilling career, while reducing work-related stress or anxiety. To schedule your first session, contact us today.
We have been living with COVID-19 now for nearly 16 months and there has been an immense amount of progress when it comes to the number of infections across the states decreasing. Through social distancing, mask-wearing, and the high availability of receiving the vaccine, we are beginning to see the world open up again across the country. People are able to see their loved ones after a year of isolation, enjoy restaurants and museums, and even walk outside without the need for a mask (if vaccinated).
While life seems to be increasingly getting back to the pre-COVID days, the psychological effects that the pandemic has had on the population are still very relevant. According to the Center for Disease Control (2020), a staggering 40% of U.S. adults have reported mental health issues and an increase in substance use since the beginning of quarantine back in March 2020.
The leading mental illness that people have reported experiencing is anxiety, and it appears that people are struggling with getting back to “normal” life. If this sounds familiar, there are various coping skills and tips to try to ease the anxiety of our new way of life to be able to enjoy it to the fullest Below are just a few ways to cope with COVID anxiety:
1. GET MOVING
Has anyone ever told you how exercising can help ease anxiety? Being active and finding an enjoyable way to move our bodies has various benefits that directly help in building resilience against anxious thoughts and feelings. Increasing your heart rate raises levels of important anti-anxiety neurotransmitters such as serotonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid. Serotonin is often referred to as the “happy hormone” due to its natural mood-stabilizing components; since getting your heart rate up naturally increases serotonin levels in the brain, regular exercise can aid in reducing stress and anxious thoughts, especially during the pandemic (Ratey, 2019).
2. Get enough sleep
One of the most prevalent symptoms of anxiety is excessive worrying, and now more than ever there is no shortage of worry amongst the population. People who experience intense worrying often ruminate about their concerns while trying to fall asleep; the unease and anxiety that comes with worrying thoughts makes it very difficult to fall and stay asleep (Suni, 2020). When we don’t get enough sleep, we feel even more anxious during the day and often we are too exhausted to engage in anxiety-reducing activities, such as exercise, and then the cycle continues.
If this sounds familiar, you are certainly not alone and there are various things you can do to lessen those worrying thoughts and get a good night’s sleep:
Turn off your electronics at least 30 minutes before bed
Write all of your worrying thoughts in a journal at the end of the day
Sip on some calming tea, such as chamomile or ginger to help you feel sleepy
Read a couple chapters in a book to get your mind off of your worries
Listen to calming music or a podcast
Start a meditation practice – even 5 minutes every night before getting into bed can ease tension and help you let go of your worries
3. Stay connected
While we are finally able to safely be around our loved ones again, many people have become so used to staying home that just the thought of socializing causes major anxiety. On the other hand, socialization increases the hormone oxytocin which decreases anxiety levels and helps us feel more confident and resilient! If going to a public place is too difficult right now, then make sure to schedule in calls and video chats with your friends and family on a regular basis. Try setting a reminder on your phone to get in touch with your friends and family at least once or twice a week. Even a simple “thinking of you” text can make us feel more connected and less stressed! Reaching out to others helps us reroute our focus from our own anxieties to caring for the important people in our lives (Socialization and altruistic acts as stress relief, n.d.).
4. Stay informed, but limit news input
We all need to stay informed on the latest news regarding COVID-19 in order to ensure the safety of ourselves and others. With that being said, looking at the news 24/7 can be harmful to our mental health and cause unneeded stress and anxiety. In fact, people have shown an increase in anxiety and negative emotions after watching only 14 minutes of the news on TV (Johnston & Davey, 1997).
In order to combat news anxiety, there are a few tips and tricks that can really help ease the strain that the news can take on your mental health:
Set time limits and only look at the news once or twice a day, and not before bedtime!
Manage your news notifications so that you are only receiving important updates regarding COVID-19 that are important for ensuring your safety
Subscribe to positive news outlets such as Upworthy or Some Good News. Reminding ourselves that there is good in the world can aid in relieving anxiety and focusing on the positives instead of the negatives.
Practice lots of self care! Take yourself on a long walk while listening to your favorite podcast, watch a silly TV show, or draw yourself a bubble bath. Self care is more important now than ever before.
5. Ask for help
The therapists at Flourish Psychology can work with you to identify your triggers and find freedom from your anxiety. Schedule a free consult to get matched with a therapist who best meets your needs.
In a recent episode of the popular podcast, This American Life, I heard a story that caused me to reflect on the effects of unresolved childhood trauma and how it manifests in adulthood.
The featured guest told the story of how she was separated from her parents at a very young age, as they immigrated to the United States from Guatemala, leaving her behind with her grandmother. This difficult decision was made by her mother, who did not want her young daughter to endure the uncertainty and hardship that came with such a big transition. Though she eventually joined her family in the United States a few years later when things were more stable, the psychological effects of the separation followed her for the rest of her life.
When she arrived in the United States, she began feeling pressured to be on her best behavior at all times, for fear that she would be sent back to Guatemala. Many years after her safe arrival, she still had the constant fear of deportation, even as a naturalized adult. Decades later, when she became a mother, she started having nightmares about her son being taken away from her. She began instilling fear into her son about their possible separation, going as far as to install tracking devices so that she could be aware of his location at all times. In this way, she was reliving her childhood trauma, as well as passing it along to her son.
How is it possible for an event from early childhood to affect an adult decades after the fact? Why doesn’t time heal the wounds of childhood trauma?
Unless childhood trauma is properly addressed, its effects will be evident even years after the traumatic incident. Sometimes, a traumatic event may be suppressed for a long time, only to resurface when something triggers it in adulthood. When this happens, it can be difficult to connect the dots between a childhood incident and a ‘grown-up’ problem.
There are many different types of experiences that happen during childhood that can be considered traumatic. There are more obvious instances of traumatic events such as experiencing a natural disaster, major accident, physical or sexual violence or being separated from loved ones. But there are also smaller, seemingly “normal” aspects of our childhood that can have a traumatic effect. Sometimes, traumatic events are the result of deliberate and abusive actions of the adults in our lives. Other times, the adult caretakers in our lives did not mean us any harm and genuinely believed they were making the best decisions for us. Unfortunately, even the best of intentions does not negate the lasting effects of childhood trauma. We all experienced traumatic events as children to some extent, based on our unique family dynamic or physical environment. It’s important to remember that events that may be considered ‘minor’ can have a lasting effect well into adulthood. Here are some unexpected sources of childhood trauma and how they may impact you as an adult.
Moving a lot as a kid
Moving is a major and transformative life event for everyone, but it has an especially significant impact on children. Many studies have researched the long-term effects of repeated moves once children have reached adulthood. The research shows that the more times people moved as children, the more likely they will be to report lower life satisfaction and psychological wellbeing as adults. Researchers also found that those who moved frequently as children had more difficulties finding and maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships in adulthood.
Moving creates a sense of displacement and a feeling of a lack of stability in a child’s life. Just when they have adjusted and adapted to their environment, they are forced to readjust, re-adapt and find a new sense of balance in their new home. With a new school comes the challenges of being “the new kid” such as being bullied, feeling left out and having difficulty making friends. When moves are quite frequent (as often happens with military families) children may feel discouraged from making friends at all, seeing it as a futile endeavor when they may soon be leaving again.
How this may affect you as an adult:
There is quite a bit of research on the long-term effects of moving around a lot as a child, with many studies concluding that it may lead to increased risk of depression, self-harm and substance abuse in adulthood. There is also the likelihood of challenges in maintaining relationships and jobs. Because you are so accustomed to being forced to leave, you may be inclined to quickly “cut off” romantic and platonic partners and may have challenges with keeping a job long term. Longevity and settling down may feel uncomfortable for you because of the lack of stability in your childhood.
Growing up in an Environment of Poverty or Scarcity
It comes as no surprise that children living in poorer households face unique and complex challenges not faced by children in more financially abundant homes. Trauma can be experienced by witnessing an actual or perceived threat to our safety or wellbeing and this is triggered in many ways while growing up in poverty. An inability to access food, clothing or shelter on a consistent basis threatens a child’s sense of safety and stability. Poverty can also bring on feelings of guilt, shame or fear as it relates to money and these feelings can follow you well into adulthood.
How this may affect you as an adult:
For many adults who were raised in an environment of poverty, the mindset of scarcity follows them for life. Even after attaining wealth or stability in adulthood, you may still operate from a place of lack. There may be the constant fear that you are going to “lose it all” and end up back in an impoverished situation. This can lead to hoarding of resources and an inability to enjoy the fruits of your labour. A lack of financial education in childhood may lead to poor financial planning or decision-making in adulthood, thus perpetuating the cycle of poverty.
Childhood Trauma from Emotionally Unavailable parents
Though a parent may be physically present and make provisions for a child’s physical needs, they may be emotionally absent or unavailable. Most often, they themselves had emotionally absent parents and simply never learned how to offer emotional support to anyone, including their own children. Other times, parents may have demanding jobs or other obligations that do not allow them to be emotionally present in the lives of their children.
Emotionally absent parents are reluctant to display intimacy and may have challenges showing physical or verbal affection to their children. Because of their own inability to handle their emotions, they are unable to guide their children in managing their emotional wellbeing. These parents will often encourage children to suppress emotions instead of addressing them in a healthy way.
How this may affect you as an adult:
Adult children of emotionally absent parents often grow up to repeat the patterns and behaviors of their parents. They may have difficulties in romantic relationships or friendships due to their inability to be vulnerable and affectionate. In turn, they may seek out partners who are emotionally unavailable, leaving them dissatisfied as they yearn for connection and intimacy. It may be difficult to cope with the emotionally demanding realities of adulthood, leading to a reliance on unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol, drugs or impulsive shopping.
Healing from Childhood Trauma Through Therapy
To some extent, we are all dealing with the aftermath of childhood trauma in one way or another. Though none of it is your fault, the responsibility of healing from your trauma rests only with you. By working with a therapist, you will have expert guidance and support as you process difficult moments from your past. Though this can be a daunting prospect, it is one of the most fulfilling things you can do for yourself. To take the first step, schedule a free consult to get matched with a therapist who meets your needs.
Though social media is a relatively new advancement in technology, it has very quickly become an unavoidable aspect of our everyday lives. For most teens and millennials, constant access to social media platforms such as TikTok, Instagram and Twitter is facilitated through use of a smartphone that is always connected to the internet. For older populations, Facebook and YouTube are far more popular. For younger generations, exposure to screens starts in early infancy, with many parents using tablets and smartphones to keep young children entertained with games, videos and educational content. Regardless of your age group or lifestyle, chances are that you have some form of a relationship with social media, due to its accessibility, ease of use and various benefits.
Of course, there are many positive aspects to social media use. These revolutionary platforms allow us to have easy access to important information, which can be crucial during an ever-changing world. The latest information about the COVID-19 pandemic, vaccines, elections and other crucial world events are available at the tap of a screen. With travel restrictions and lockdowns, social media allows us to keep in contact with loved ones we otherwise would not be able to reach.
Limited research on effects of social media use
Given the relative recency of these technologies, there is limited research on its effects on our mental health and wellbeing. The most accurate research studies take place over many years and measure long-term impact. With social media, there simply hasn’t enough time for such a comprehensive study. While we may not yet have information on the long-term effects of constant social media use, we do have quite a bit of research on the shorter-term impacts. This is crucial information that we can use to surmise what the impact will be if we continue using social media in a particular way over a longer period of time.
Many studies focus on the psychological impact of increased exposure to these platforms and how this exposure contributes to depression, anxiety, self-harm and disordered eating.
FOMO and the comparison game
By nature, humans are wired to compare themselves to each other. Long before these technologies existed, we have been “keeping up with the Joneses” by comparing our careers, possessions, children and bank accounts to our peers, neighbors and colleagues. For decades, research has indicated that we make upward comparisons, i.e. we measure the mundane or unpleasant aspects of our lives to the grandiose and glamorous aspects of other people’s lives.
Social media ups the ante of the comparison game by giving us constant access to the highlight reels of others. A few decades ago, we may be notified of a colleague’s new car if we happened to notice it in their parking spot at work or a chance encounter at the grocery store. Now, you can see how #grateful your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is for her new car before she even drives it off the lot. Seeing this while you’re dealing with a tough financial time can easily bring on feelings of inadequacy and comparison.
These feelings of comparison can lead to FOMO, or the fear of missing out. Have you ever watched an Instagram story of a group of friends at a restaurant or party while you’re at home in your PJs? It’s easy to feel like life is passing you by while scrolling through the seemingly exciting lives of others.
In some ways, comparison can be a healthy and useful tool for self-development. By seeking inspiration from the achievements of others, we can find motivation to make improvements to our own lives. By using your peers as a benchmark, you can also find reassurance in the fact that you are on the right track or may even be doing better than you expected. But the comparison game can quickly take a very dark turn, leaving you feeling inferior, anxious or depressed.
Social Media & The 24-hour news cycle
The 24-hour news cycle came about in the mid-1990s when television networks began doing fast-paced investigative journalism in an effort to compete with each other. There is a constant race for the juiciest scoop, the exclusive interview and to be the first to break the latest news. This was a revolutionary concept in comparison to printed newspapers, which were only able to provide delayed information once per day. In the age of social media, the news cycle is even more constant because it’s in your pocket.
Back in the nineties, it was easy to turn off your TV to head to work or otherwise go about your day. Today, it’s more of a challenge to avoid the news than it is to stay informed. Information overload can lead to stress, anxiety and a whole host of mental health issues.
Steps you can take to minimize effects
If you’ve noticed that your social media use leaves you feeling depressed or that every notification brings a feeling of dread or anxiety, it may be time to make some changes.
Remind yourself that you don’t need to be constantly connected to stay informed. Do you really need to hear every breaking news update? Checking a summary of your favorite news sites once or twice per day is enough to keep you informed of important local and world events. There are many services that offer personalized, condensed news reports based on your interests and location. Consider turning off the CNN notifications in favour of one of these options.
It’s also important to remember that people are only putting the very best version of themselves on social media. It’s unfair to compare yourself in a low moment to a retouched, made-up, and hyper-positive social media post. Remember that we all face setbacks and challenges, but these are rarely shared on Instagram.
Social media can easily cause us to feel like the star of our very own reality show. This can create a feeling of obligation in relation to updating your followers about your daily life and major life developments. Remind yourself that there is no such obligation. Release the pressure that comes with taking the perfect shot, writing the wittiest caption and getting the most likes or comments. It’s okay to take a break from posting. If you’re feeling up for it, why not take a social media detox? Disconnecting from the constant rat race can bring you unexpected peace and clarity. If your livelihood depends on social media, consider scheduling posts ahead of time to keep your feed updated.
Another simple, yet important step to take is to unfollow or unsubscribe from accounts that negatively affect your wellbeing. Does a certain news site use anxiety-inducing headlines as clickbait? Unfollow! How about an email marketing newsletter that always leads to you making a purchase you’ll later regret? Unsubscribe! And the girl with the seemingly perfect life with the self-righteous captions that cause you to feel inferior? It’s okay to mute her, too.
If you’re having issues detaching from social media and are concerned about its impact on your mental health, you may wish to discuss these concerns with a therapist. The clinicians at Flourish Psychology understand that social media is interwoven into our lives and are trained to address the mental health issues that may arise from constant use of these platforms. Schedule a free consult to get matched with a therapist who best meets your needs.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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