There are some people that can talk to anyone. If someone is in a room with them, a friend or stranger, they can fearlessly walk up to that person and start a conversation, with no timidness or hesitation in their voice.
But not everyone is that social, and some people struggle to have conversations – especially with people they do not know. Often, these individuals are described as being “shy.” Sometimes, however, these individuals are struggling with social anxiety disorder, and their shyness is actually a form of moderate to severe anxiety that would benefit from treatment by a mental health professional.
Yet how do you know if it is shyness or social anxiety?
Shyness and Social Anxiety Similarities and Differences
Shyness and social anxiety share many common traits. Both make it harder to socialize with strangers or groups. Both can make it more difficult to have the relationships you want, or participate in some of the activities that you want to enjoy.
But there are key differences between the two, and most of them relate to the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that occur during social situations.
Shy people can often motivate themselves to be social with only a little bit of self-talk.
Shy people may feel a little bit of anxiety, but it is fleeting and easy to manage.
Shy people often still go out and participate in social activities.
Shy people do not necessarily feel significant shame or embarrassment at being shy.
On the other hand:
Social anxiety tends to cause moderate to severe anxiety at the idea of being social.
Social anxiety comes with a lot of negative self-talk.
Social anxiety causes increasingly severe physical responses in social situations.
Social anxiety leads to many negative emotions and overthinking about the experience.
Social anxiety is difficult to overcome, and can get worse over time.
Social anxiety makes people avoid possibly enjoyable social situations.
A person that is shy may feel like they want to talk to someone but have a bit of a hard time speaking up. A person with social anxiety is often fearful about talking to that person, worried they’ll embarrass themselves, and may experience severe anxiety that prevents them from engaging with others.
Still, while the two are different, they are not entirely unrelated. Shyness can lead to someone developing social anxiety disorder if their shyness starts to negatively impact their life, and what we call “shyness” could be a form of mild, manageable social anxiety that has the potential to worsen depending on life experience. It may be a personality trait, but it may also be a form of social anxiety that is currently manageable, but could develop into worse symptoms over time.
Evaluating and Treating Your Social Anxiety
It is difficult to live with social anxiety. It is even more difficult to live with social anxiety here in Brooklyn and NYC, as our area is densely packed, brimming with events and social experiences, and often requires socialization in order to navigate the busyness of the city.
At Flourish Psychology, we believe that what matters most is helping you achieve your goals. Whether you have social anxiety or you’re just feeling shy and want a bit more self-confidence to be social, we want to be here to work with you, helping you achieve these goals and live your life the way you want to live. Contact us today to learn more.
One of the challenges therapists often experience is trying to describe the symptoms of a condition that can manifest in so many different ways. Anxiety is one of the best examples of this. When we try to describe the symptoms of anxiety, we’re often limited by the symptoms that are “most common,” for example:
Rapid heartbeat
Worries and nervous thoughts
Trouble concentrating
Muscle tension
Feeling restless
Sweating, etc.
These are the common, nearly universal symptoms of anxiety. While not everyone may feel tension, and not everyone will have worrisome thoughts (see our past blog post on people that live with only the physical symptoms of anxiety) but, in general, a person with anxiety can expect to feel at least some of those symptoms.
What makes anxiety more complicated is that it can manifest in ways that seem like they have nothing to do with anxiety – symptoms that sound nothing like the more common symptoms described above. In fact, there are so many of these symptoms that even as therapists, we are often tasked with trying to differentiate what is anxiety and what isn’t.
Let’s look at some examples:
Trouble Walking
Long term stress and anxiety can change both how your body reacts to stress and how you process those changes. When someone has panic disorder, they often experience what’s known as “hypersensitivity.” They self-monitor their body for physical symptoms, start to notice that any feeling they have, and feel that feeling stronger than they would without anxiety.
Some people find that this process causes what should be natural, subconscious movements to become conscious. For example, walking. Walking is 200 muscles in your body moving together. Your brain knows how to walk. But sometimes, people that are hypersensitive because of their panic attacks, start to feel odd when walking. Suddenly, they have to remember how to walk, as they have conscious control over their movements. This leads to trouble walking.
Another example of this might include trouble swallowing.
Eye Pain
Another symptom of anxiety that you may not expect is eye pain. One symptom that most people do experience is muscle tension. But muscle tension isn’t limited to your back and shoulders. Some people get muscle tension in the muscles around the eyes. This tension pulls on these muscles, leading to eye pain. Some people may even have vision problems, including blurry vision, as a result of this eye muscle tension.
Sudden Urge to Urine or Cold Feet
What do an urge to urinate and cold feet have in common?
Not very much, actually. But they do point to something that many people do not know about their own bodies.
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, your body is trying to determine how best to use its resources. It’s trying to decide where to send blood, where to activate neurotransmitters, where to send hormones and vitamins, and so on.
When a person struggles with anxiety, their body is reacting as if they’re in the middle of some type of extreme danger. In order to escape that danger, your body moves resources to the places it thinks need them most. For example, blood may rush to your muscles and heart, because your body thinks you’re going to fight or flee. This takes warm blood away from your feet and toes, causing them to feel cold.
Similarly, your brain is trying to determine how to keep you safe from danger. In order to do that, it moves resources away from other parts of your brain – including the part of your brain that controls your ability to hold in your urination. It’s why animals (including humans) are prone to urinating when they are very scared. The part of their brain responsible for relaxing the bladder is no longer activated so that resources can move to other parts of the brain.
The Many Symptoms of Anxiety
All of these symptoms we are describing here are not rare symptoms. Thousands of people across Brooklyn and NYC struggle with the same issues. That is why it so important to see a therapist. Working with a therapist, we can identify what these symptoms may be, how they’re linked with anxiety, and what you can do to find some relief from them.
There are hundreds of anxiety symptoms just like these that can affect people of all ages. If you’re looking for a NYC therapist to help you understand your symptoms more and start the process of addressing them, contact Flourish Psychology, today.
Flourish Psychology is a boutique private practice in Brooklyn with experienced anxiety therapists that are here to help you manage and recover from anxiety, panic attacks, and similar disorders.
At Flourish Psychology, one of the many conversations we have with our callers and clients is that there is no such thing as a wrong time to see an anxiety therapist because therapy itself isn’t solely about treating a mental illness. It is about making your life better. Even if you feel that you have your day to day life under control, therapy can help you grow, stay motivated, cope with stress, and find further meaningful relationships.
But, for those that are not sure if they’re a good candidate for therapy – especially anxiety therapy – there are some signs that you can watch for to know when it’s time to make the call.
Anxiety is Manageable – But Doesn’t Have to Be Managed
Most people experience some form of anxiety now and then. A person may find themselves feeling worried about a plane ride, or that something happened to a family member when they don’t answer the phone. They may even have days where your stresses start to feel overwhelming.
But most of the time, they may feel fine. Their relationships, their work, and their social life are thriving, and they do not feel like your anxiety holds them back from causing any significant distress. In these cases, this person may not need a therapist for anxiety, because anxiety is not an emotion that weighs heavily on their day to day experiences.
On the other end of the spectrum are the people that have extreme anxiety. It is anxiety that is severe, and hold them back from healthy activities. It is anxiety that affects their relationships, their work, their sleep, or their happiness. In those situations, it is much clearer that a NYC anxiety therapist is needed, as anxiety significantly impacts their life.
What about the people in between?
Do you ever feel like you’re nervousness distracts you from enjoying many activities?
Do you find yourself worrying often, or about things that feel irrational.
Do you ever have periods of extreme or intense anxiety that are overwhelming?
Do you have stomach issues, sweat, or have physical anxiety symptoms with no physical cause?
Do you ever feel like you *wish* you didn’t have anxiety, and that your life would be better without it?
One of the reasons that many people do not seek treatment for anxiety is because, out of all mental health conditions, anxiety is the one that is most often “manageable.” It is typically – although not always – possible to hold a job, go out with friends, or have various experiences even when you’re living with mild to moderate anxiety symptoms. That often causes people to put off treatment, thinking that it’s not important or severe enough to get help.
In the psychotherapy world, anyone that answers “yes” to any of the above questions is a good candidate for therapy. Therapy is about helping you better cope with anxiety, learn to control stress, and maintain the life you want for yourself. Even if you feel like you can “manage” the anxiety, Flourish Psychology doesn’t believe you should have to. Therapy can help you find a better sense of balance, learn to control anxious thoughts, and address the issues that cause you to feel anxious in inappropriate situations.
If you’re interested in seeing a therapist for anxiety in Brooklyn or New York City, contact Flourish Psychology, today. We are a boutique private practice that supports all people, from all backgrounds, with therapy that is built around your specific experience, contact Flourish Psychology, today.
We’re getting into the colder months of the year. The sun is setting earlier. There are more clouds. This is a time of year when many people all around NYC start to struggle with “Seasonal Affective Disorder,” also called “Seasonal Depression” or “SAD” – a type of depression that is caused, at least in part, by a lack of sunlight.
Seasonal affective disorder is a very real condition. It is linked to a change in chemicals in the brain that occur when the days are shorter and there is less time spent outside. It is treatable, especially with therapy, but it is also based largely on external factors that are outside of a person’s control.
But while seasonal depression is real, not all depression around this time of year is caused by SAD. Some of it is caused by other things, and one of those things is often family issues that are related to the holidays.
Why the Holidays Can Cause Depressive Symptoms
Seasonal depression may be the cause of your negative feelings. But it could also be related to issues that simply occur around this time. For example:
Those that are estranged from their families often experience sadness or depression during the holidays. It’s not uncommon for this time of year to bring back these difficult memories, or cause feelings of loneliness knowing that your family is not around.
Holidays can be a time of immense pressure for different families – having guests, organizing parties, buying gifts, quickly finishing off work vacations, etc. These can also lead to negative emotions that may be difficult to handle.
The holidays can be expensive. Financial stress and pressure is another potential cause of anxiety and depression that can show up during the holiday season.
Some people have experienced trauma during the holidays. Few seasons have so many consistent reminders of these types of traumas as Thanksgiving and Christmas.
If you’ve experienced loss, especially of someone close to you that you used to see over the holidays, that can also cause this time period to be one that is heavy and potentially stressful.
These are all examples of issues that can cause depression that are related – both directly and indirectly – to the holiday season, but are not specifically “Seasonal Depression.”
Depression Treatment in NYC – Knowing the Signs
Both seasonal affective disorder and holiday-related depression are treatable conditions. But it is important to know the difference, as doing so can help guide treatment and make sure that you’re getting the help you need.
If you feel the “holiday blues,” call Flourish Psychology today. Our depression therapists in Brooklyn will help determine the cause of your winter depression, and find solutions that will address your needs and struggles.
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, is a psychotherapy modality that is particularly useful in treating trauma and trauma-related anxiety conditions. It involves re-triggering traumatic memories carefully and with purpose in a safe environment to help process these memories and work through them.
Mental health conditions like PTSD are related to the mind’s unwillingness to reprocess traumatic events, and EMDR therapy aims to address that in a controlled environment with an experienced therapist.
When you and your therapist decide to use EMDR to treat your mental health symptoms, the two of you will go through the following process, which consists of 8 phases, to successfully address the different memories and experiences that are involved in your trauma.
8 Stages of EMDR Therapy
EMDR involves working with each of your traumatic memories to desensitize you to them and then to reprocess them. The first step in EMDR is to decrease the emotion around the memory. From there, you can change your perception of it to eliminate the negative thoughts.
EMDR does not remove painful memories, but neutralizes the emotions and thoughts associated with them, and reduces their ability to control you. The process uses the following steps:
Stage 1: Treatment Planning – Before beginning EMDR, your therapist will assess your needs based on your current symptoms and decide whether EMDR is the right treatment path. Your therapist will then need to build a complete understanding of your current stressors and previous traumas to guide you through treatment.
Stage 2: Treatment Preparation – During this stage, your therapist will go over more in depth what you can expect during treatment and in terms of results. You can also ask any questions that you may have.
Stage 3: Assessment – This is where the bulk of EMDR treatment begins. Your therapist will help you choose a target memory that you will be processing, as well as a more positive connotation to give this memory.
Stage 4: Desensitization – Your therapist will guide you into thinking about the memory, including the image of the memory, the physical sensations, and the words and emotions tied to it. At this time, your therapist will use eye movement or another distraction like tapping. The focus on two things at once will start to desensitize you to the memory so you can think about it with complete neutrality.
Stage 5: Installation – This part of the process is when you replace any existing negative thoughts with your positive thought. You will do this by thinking about both at once until it becomes an ingrained belief.
Stage 6: Body Scan – Once installation seems to be complete, you will do a body scan to check for any remaining unprocessed emotions or thoughts and do more bilateral processing at that moment.
Stage 7: Closure – When processing is complete or the session is over for the day, you will stop trying to actively recall the memory and your therapist will help you return to calmness.
Stage 8: Assessment – After you are through processing, you and your therapist will assess your progress to determine how successfully you reprocessed your target memories and what additional processing is still necessary during further treatment sessions.
In general, you will go through each of these steps for all of the different traumatic memories that you and your therapist consider to be targets, so the phases of EMDR are less of a linear process and more of one that repeats as many times as necessary.
EMDR is one of the therapies that we offer at Flourish Psychology. We work with patients from a variety of backgrounds who have undergone a range of traumatic experiences. Our goal is to help you process and overcome memories of the past that may be challenging or keeping you from enjoying your life in the here and now.
Learn more about our treatment options and if EMDR will be beneficial for you. We encourage you to set up an appointment with our Brooklyn therapists, today.
When we talk about anxiety, we often talk about mental symptoms. We talk about unexplained fears. We talk about irrational worries. We talk about feelings of dread and “worst-case scenario thinking.” Many people that struggle with anxiety have these issues.
Still, anxiety doesn’t always manifest itself the same way for everyone. While many people that have anxiety know that it causes physical symptoms (such as shaking, sweating, and rapid heartbeat), most people assume that these physical symptoms are the result of worries, fears, etc.
Yet it is possible for some people to develop the physical symptoms of anxiety without realizing that they have these stresses and worries. Essentially, it’s possible to have the physical symptoms of anxiety without a person feeling worried or fearful at all.
Please note: Flourish Psychology is based in Brooklyn but licensed to provide mental health services in over 30 states. Please see our locations list and contact us if you’d like support.
Physical-Only Anxiety – How Anxiety Affects the Body
Irrational worries, fear, and stress can trigger the activation of the fight or flight system. That activation can lead to symptoms that include:
Rapid Heartbeat
Trembling
Fast Breathing
Muscle Tension
Sweat
Difficulty Concentrating
If faced with real danger, these symptoms would keep us safe from harm. With a faster heartbeat, we’d be able to run quickly without getting as tired. By sweating, our bodies would not overheat. Trembling is caused by the adrenaline we need to react quickly, and so on.
We know that many different issues can lead to anxiety. For some people, it’s trauma. For others, it is lifestyle choices. For some, it is life experiences, and for others it is genetics. We also know that, because anxiety can have so many causes, it can also present itself in different ways.
That is why some people seem to have the physical symptoms of anxiety, without necessarily the thoughts that we often associate with it. They may not feel fearful. They may not feel worried. They may not even notice they’re feeling very stressed at all. But their legs start to shake, their heartbeat starts to race, they may sweat a bit more – they experience the physical symptoms, even the absence of any thoughts to trigger them.
Many people with this form of anxiety do not realize they have anxiety at all. When someone that presents with this type of anxiety also has panic attacks, it’s not uncommon for them to feel like the panic attacks come “out of nowhere,” because they do not feel any intense worries or fears at the time the panic attack is triggered. They may even develop health anxieties as a result.
Even though this type of anxiety may present differently, it is still anxiety. Because it is still anxiety, it also tends to respond well to treatments.
How We Approach “Physical Only” Anxiety
We often find that people with this form of anxiety do have stresses and worries that they’re struggling with, but they’re just not at the forefront of their minds at the time. We try to figure out what types of stresses the person may be under to determine if they are suppressing their feelings.
We also look for thoughts that may be triggering anxiety but do not feel like anxious thoughts at the time. For example, a person with “physical only anxiety” may worry about the symptoms themselves, creating a cycle where their concern over experiencing these symptoms ends up triggering their anxiety. Because their worries end up coming to fruition, they may not realize that it was triggered by that worry.
We also look for relaxation techniques and stress management strategies, to help people that may feel this type of tension learn to breathe slower and relax. These are some of the many ways that a person struggling with the physical symptoms of anxiety can find value in getting treatment from a trained therapist.
Getting Help for Physical Anxiety Symptoms
Anxiety responds well to treatment, and those struggling with physical anxiety with no clear negative or anxious thoughts should still seek help. Psychologists that understand anxiety, like those at Flourish Psychology, can provide the support and help that patients need in order to learn to manage these physical symptoms and find relief in their day-to-day lives using services like CBT. Learn more by contacting Flourish Psychology in NYC, today.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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