It is not uncommon for men to struggle with sexual performance issues, including premature ejaculation. Sex most typically is an intimate act of pleasure for each of the partners involved, but premature ejaculation can rob the experience of that pleasure and replace it with anxiety or even shame, neither of which have a place in a healthy sexual relationship.
Often the first instance of premature ejaculation is caused by outside factors like tension or stress, similar to an anxiety disorder. The issue is that it can become cyclical. If you experience premature ejaculation once, the stress or anxiety induced by that experience can often trigger premature ejaculation the following times. Once it has become a pattern, this sexual dysfunction can become a condition that requires treatment to break.
Potential Treatments for Premature Ejaculation
Sex therapy exists to help partners with anxieties about sex develop a safe and comfortable space to discuss their issues. Patients struggling with conditions like premature ejaculation can carry a lot of unnecessary stress related to their issue, which in turn can upset the balance between sexual partners.
Being able to sit down and have an open conversation about how these experiences are making someone feel can be a fantastic way to break through any perceived shame and begin the healing process together rather than trying to find treatment alone. Whether your are pursuing treatment for just yourself or alongside your partner, there are several different therapist approaches available for premature ejaculation. These include:
Therapy for Anxiety – Premature ejaculation is linked to anxiety. Addressing a person’s anxieties – both about their sexual performance and about other anxiety they may struggle with in life – can help individuals take greater control over their bodies, and in turn reduce the frequency or intensity of premature ejaculation.
Therapy for Self-Confidence – Confidence is another issue that has been linked to premature ejaculation. With your therapist, we can work on self-confidence in a way that can also support how you feel in the bedroom. In therapy, we deal with confidence in all facets of your life, so that you feel better about yourself not only in the bedroom, but in your day to day activities.
Relationship Communication – Not all premature ejaculation takes place in a committed relationship, but those in relationships often benefit from communicating better and talking through their intimacy needs. With relationship help, it becomes possible for you and your partner to address these issues together, building confidence and learning to handle intimacy concerns.
We can also support your feelings around shame, sexuality, and more. Sex therapy is not about making you more desirable, or improving your abilities in the bedroom. What it is about is helping you in all facets of your life, in a way that can also address issues such as premature ejaculation.
When healing from a sexual dysfunction, intimacy should always be kept at the forefront of the conversation. Many of the most difficult parts of premature ejaculation can be dealing with the perceived feelings of our partner, and how our experience is affecting them. There should be no shame associated with premature ejaculation, and that is why having a trusted relationship with a sex therapist to talk to about these issues can be so beneficial for somebody struggling with this sexual dysfunction.
For more information about sex therapy, or therapy for men that are struggling with these and other related issues, please contact Flourish Psychology, today.
Compassion is at the heart of many professions. From healthcare workers to therapists, teachers, emergency responders, and even family caregivers, the act of extending empathy and understanding is a daily part of their roles. But what happens when the very thing that fuels their work begins to wear them down? This is where compassion fatigue comes into play.
Understanding Compassion Fatigue
Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress, is a condition characterized by emotional and physical exhaustion leading to a diminished ability to empathize or feel compassion for others. It’s not a sign of weakness or failure; rather, it’s a natural consequence of the intense emotional demands placed on individuals in caring professions.
Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue
Compassion fatigue can manifest in various ways, each affecting both personal well-being and professional effectiveness. The symptoms may be subtle at first but can become more pronounced over time:
Emotional Exhaustion – This is often one of the first signs, characterized by feeling drained, irritated, or overwhelmed by the emotional needs of others. It may begin with a sense of being emotionally ‘worn out’ at the end of the day and can progress to a constant state of emotional depletion.
Reduced Sense of Personal Accomplishment – Compassion fatigue can lead to feeling ineffective in your professional role. This isn’t just about not meeting goals or achieving success; it’s a deeper sense of dissatisfaction and cynicism. You may start to question the value of your work or feel like what you are doing doesn’t make a difference.
Depersonalization – Developing a detached or impersonal response towards those you are caring for is another alarming symptom. It often starts subtly, with a decrease in empathy and understanding. Over time, this can grow into a more significant detachment, where you may find yourself treating those you care for as tasks rather than individuals.
Physical Symptoms – Compassion fatigue doesn’t only affect the mind; it also takes a toll on the body. Chronic physical ailments like headaches, gastrointestinal issues, or sleep disturbances may arise. These are not just isolated incidents but ongoing problems that persist, further draining your energy and ability to cope.
Understanding these symptoms is essential for early detection and intervention. It’s not unusual for these symptoms to overlap with other conditions, such as burnout or depression, making professional assessment and support vital in identifying and treating compassion fatigue. The more aware you are of these signs, the better positioned you’ll be to seek help and implement strategies to protect and rejuvenate your compassionate self.
Who is at Risk?
While compassion fatigue can affect anyone in a caring role, it’s particularly common in professions that involve high emotional labor. Some of those most at risk include:
Medical Professionals
Teachers and Educators
Social Workers
Emergency Responders
Family Caregivers
Even therapists can struggle with compassion fatigue, which is why many therapists also see therapists proactively as a way to manage their emotions and stress.
Preventing and Managing Compassion Fatigue
Preventing and managing compassion fatigue involves recognizing the symptoms and taking proactive steps to care for oneself. Strategies may include:
Regular Self-Care – This includes exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and engaging in hobbies or activities that rejuvenate the mind and body.
Professional Support – Seeking therapy or counseling can provide a confidential space to explore feelings and develop coping strategies.
Peer Support – Connecting with colleagues who understand the unique challenges of your profession can be incredibly validating and supportive.
Setting Boundaries – Recognizing one’s limits and learning to say no is crucial in preserving emotional well-being.
As mental health specialists, we make sure to help our clients recognize these symptoms and learn ways to manage their emotional burdens.
Compassion Is a Renewable Resource
Compassion fatigue is a very real and common challenge faced by those in caregiving roles. It’s not a personal failing but rather an occupational hazard that requires understanding, recognition, and proactive self-care.
If you recognize the signs of compassion fatigue in yourself or a colleague, reach out for support. Whether through professional therapy, self-care, or the embrace of a compassionate community, remember that compassion is not finite. With proper care, it can be renewed, allowing you to continue your essential work with renewed empathy and energy.
Medical doctors play a vital role in our healthcare system, often working under intense pressure and demanding circumstances. While their expertise and dedication save lives, the unique stresses they face can lead to specific mental health challenges.
At Flourish Psychology, we understand the distinct needs of medical professionals, and also how challenging it can be to seek professional help, especially given your position. We encourage anyone working as a doctor or other medical professional to seek out care, as there are specific mental health issues that affect those in the medical community, including:
1. Burnout
Burnout is a prolonged response to chronic stressors in the workplace, marked by emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced personal accomplishment. For medical doctors, long working hours, high patient loads, and the emotional toll of dealing with life-and-death situations can all contribute to burnout.
2. Depression
The intense demands of the medical profession can lead to feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and an ongoing sense of sadness. The combination of work pressure, administrative burdens, and the personal sacrifice required in the medical field makes doctors especially susceptible to depression.
3. Anxiety Disorders
The high-stakes nature of medical work can generate chronic anxiety. Whether it’s worry over patient outcomes, concerns about medical malpractice, or the ongoing pressure to keep up with ever-changing medical knowledge, anxiety can become a constant companion.
4. Substance Abuse
Unfortunately, the pressures faced by doctors can sometimes lead to substance abuse as a coping mechanism. The ready availability of medications and the intensity of the work environment can be contributing factors.
5. Compassion Fatigue
Caring for patients in pain, distress, or nearing the end of life can be incredibly taxing emotionally. Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress, occurs when caregivers feel overwhelmed by the constant need to provide emotional support.
6. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Doctors are frequently exposed to traumatic situations, from emergency cases to witnessing patient deaths. These experiences can lead to PTSD, manifesting as flashbacks, avoidance behaviors, and increased emotional arousal.
7. Imposter Syndrome
The constant pursuit of perfection and the life-and-death nature of medical decisions can sometimes lead to imposter syndrome. Doctors may feel as though they are not competent or capable, despite evidence to the contrary.
Flourish Psychology: Support For Medical Doctors
Flourish Psychology is committed to supporting medical professionals in their mental and emotional well-being. We offer specialized therapy and counseling tailored to the unique challenges faced by those in the medical field. Our services are designed to provide a safe, confidential space for doctors to discuss their struggles and seek professional guidance.
A Call To Care For The Caregivers
Doctors are at the frontline of our healthcare system, providing essential care to those in need. Recognizing and addressing the specific mental health challenges they face is not only crucial for their well-being but also for the health of the patients they serve.
If you or a medical professional you know is struggling with these or other mental health challenges, please reach out to Flourish Psychology. Our dedicated team of mental health professionals is here to support you throughout the state of NY.
We hope you had a wonderful fourth of July with your friends and family! Walking outside in Brooklyn, we could smell the barbecues, hear the laughter, and see a lot of happy faces.
It’s also a good time to ask a question that we ask twice every year: why are we still doing fireworks?
Working with Trauma
It’s true that fireworks can be very beautiful. Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks are often some of the best in the United States. Some of us have memories of our first ever large scale fireworks displays. Those of us from other states may have also lit our own fireworks in our backyards with friends and family.
But most of us are not wowed by fireworks anymore, and – unless you have a front row seat – they’re really more like little lights in the distance. The majority of us do not even attend fireworks displays, choosing instead to watch them on TV or ignore them altogether.
So, as therapists, we have to ask: do we really need fireworks?
People with post-traumatic stress disorder – including, if not especially, veterans of the armed forces, are often triggered by fireworks. In one of the great “ironies” of fireworks displays, some of the very people that many of us pay respect to on July 4th are those that have severe anxiety, stress, and sometimes even emotional breakdowns as a result of fireworks displays.
There are already many questions about the value of fireworks.
Fireworks release dangerous particles in the atmosphere.
They can cause injury or even death when mishandled.
They keep people awake at night.
They are expensive, at a time when income inequality and social service investments are down.
They have led to fires, a risk that is even more common now that the climate is changing.
But the fact that they also trigger traumatic episodes in shooting survivors, veterans, and others that have experienced trauma, it may be time to really sit down and think about whether or not fireworks are still a necessity for our more enlightened society. Fireworks can be beautiful. But there are many other options available as well, and the loud noise, pollution, and psychological consequences of fireworks may no longer be worth it. It may be time to consider alternative options for our mental health.
Growing up, everyone is taught to play. We’re sent outside for recess and given a ball, a Frisbee, or a jungle gym. We’re told to exercise, express ourselves, get into trouble (but not too much) and learn about the world around us.
So, we go out, and we play. We play pretend, imagining ourselves to be princes and princesses, soldiers and super heroes, villains and monsters. All this play is done in the name of self-discovery:
Who are we?
What do we enjoy?
What makes us happy or sad?
For many children, this stage of play is important to their development, creating a fictional flood of stories, characters, morals, moments, and messages will carry with us for the rest of our lives.
Much like the children’s fairy tale Peter Pan though, at a certain point as adults we are told that they are no longer allowed to play. Life gets serious, we have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and face the unhappy reality that is… reality.
Go get a job, don’t expect any handouts, and you can sleep when you’re dead. Suddenly this outlet of play that we’ve cultivated and grown within us must be cut out like a tumor of creativity. We’re told this is done for our own betterment, for the inarguable benefit of putting childish things behind us.
The idea of no longer playing can be dangerous to the human experience though.
Psychiatrist and founder of the National Institute for Play, Dr. Stuart Brown wrote an entire book on the subject, titled Play.
“[Play] is all around us, yet goes mostly unnoticed or unappreciated until it is missing,” wrote Dr. Brown, likening play to oxygen. “Play is the purest expression of love.”
The mind is not one track. It needs diversity, challenge, and exploration. Adults can find this release in many places. For some it’s reading, for some it’s video games, others find a team sport or an activity like indoor rock climbing or bird watching. For some, it’s games that have long been associated with childhood, like dungeons and dragons or live action role playing, and learning to accept that even traditionally childhood versions of “play” can be as useful for adults as it is for kids.
How you play is not always important. But fitting in play definitely is. Many of us need to unlearn this idea that games and activities are or can be juvenile, and embrace the idea that our minds, emotions, and mental health benefit from letting loose, having fun, and engaging in activities that give us different experiences and ways of thinking.
Hobbies are important. More important than we give them credit for. Research into the idea of “leisure hobbies” indicates many potential benefits of maintaining hobbies for your mental health.
Hobbies are a great way to engage in a passion. They can also be a great way to make money. Many businesses started as hobbies. Etsy, for example, was a business literally started because its owner needed a way to sell these handmade wooden computers he made in his spare time. Bob Ross was just painting as a hobby before he made a name for himself as a television personality.
We live at a time where “hustle culture” is all the rage – what can you do to make some extra money? Are there hobbies that you have that can provide you with some extra money? Can you become a professional dog jogger because of your love of running? Can you rent out your home to photographers because of your amazing interior design skills?
There’s nothing wrong with trying to make a bit of extra money with your hobbies. Life is expensive. If you can make a bit of extra cash here and there doing something you love to do, go for it.
But it’s important to remember that you also don’t need to make every hobby of yours something you can make money off of. Sometimes, it’s just good to have a hobby.
The Benefits of a Hobby that Isn’t Monetized
It’s great if a hobby can make you money. But it’s also great to have hobbies that do not. That is because research into hobbies has shown that monetizing a hobby can reduce the joy of that hobby. This has even been proposed as a way to reduce childhood addiction to video games. Give them a few dollars to play, and eventually they’ll find playing less enjoyable.
Hobbies that you do just for fun – hobbies that you do just for YOU – have many benefits, including:
Improving your self esteem as you become good at something.
Teaching you to turn off your mind to outside distractions.
Giving yourself moments of fun in a stressful world.
You can monetize anything you want if you feel like you’re ready for it. But it is also perfectly reasonable to just have a hobby you can enjoy. Paint without worrying if someone will buy it. Craft something without worrying about someone buying it from you. Write a book without worrying about if someone reads it. If it brings you joy, then it has value that extends beyond money – value that you will experience for months and years to come.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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