March is Women’s History Month – a celebration of the invaluable contributions that women have made to the world. It’s also a time to acknowledge the challenges that are unique to women and advocate for a better quality of life for women everywhere. A large part of this is ensuring that women are healthy – physically, mentally and emotionally.
Societal Factors Affecting Women’s Mental Health
Social and biological understandings of gender affect everything about the way we live our lives. The category of gender influences everything from the ways we dress and the way we use language all the way to health and the ways in which people are treated and diagnosed. Differences along gender lines are increasingly evident with regard to the ways in which doctors diagnose and treat mental health issues. Disparities in mental healthcare due to gender both benefit and harm women, due to the symptoms presented.
For example, while women are more likely to be diagnosed with mood disorders, they are less likely to be diagnosed with developmental disorders. This means that illnesses like borderline personality disorder (BPD) are viewed as illnesses that disproportionately affect women, while mental issues like autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are underdiagnosed in women and are seen to typically affect men. To sufficiently understand the ways in which gender tends to obscure and influence the ways we treat mental health, it’s essential to understand gender as a social classification that is then projected onto biological knowledge in order to assign secondary sex characteristics to gendered experiences.
When it comes to how we have historically understood health, gender has stratified standards for illness and/or wellness to a considerable degree. An example is the dominant beauty standards for each gender. In a world where men are supposed to be strong and physical and women are expected to be demure and as small as possible, the pursuit of thinness (and the avoidance of existing in a larger body) is seen as necessary for women to acquire the social currency of desirability. This leads to unstable and dangerous ideas of body image and often results in restrictive eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia.
Women and the Pressure to “Do It All”
The societal pressure on women to “do it all” is a huge factor to consider. Women are expected to be the perfect wife, mother, caretaker and friend, all while balancing a successful career. These are all roles that call women to be in service and to neglect their own needs and self-care. This expectation that women should prioritize others over themselves leads to many women experiencing chronic anxiety as well as prolonged depressive symptoms. The adherence (or lack thereof) to unrealistic standards also opens women up to gender-based violence that often results in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
While not all women desire to be mothers, there is certainly an expectation of it. Women are often subjected to invasive questions about their reproductive choices. For women who have experienced miscarriages or are facing infertility, these questions can be incredibly painful. Cisgender women also deal with mental health conditions surrounding menstruation like Poly Cystic Ovarian Symptom (PCOS) and endometriosis, both of which have negative effects on mental and emotional health. Mental illness conditions influenced by hormones include PMDD (Pre Menstrual Depressive Disorder) and PMS (Pre Menstrual Syndrome) which can cause feelings of depression and even suicidal ideation.
Pregnancy and childbirth are also very taxing to the mind and body due to physical requirements and the mental and emotional changes that come with pregnancy hormones. contributed by hormones and shifting levels of dopamine and oxytocin in the body. This means Conversely, trans women deal with mental illness at similar rates. This may look like PTSD from gender-based violence as well as BDD (Body Dysmorphia Disorder) or even self-injurious tendencies due to consistent gender dysphoria. Patterns of being misgendered and discriminated against due to societal transphobia puts trans women at greater risk for Major Depressive Disorder as well as Generalised Anxiety Disorder, both of which are chronic conditions that only get worse without treatment over time. Due to misogynistic standards about what women ought to look and behave like, trans women are also at risk for restrictive eating disorders as they try to fit into archaic and dangerous standards of gender.
Improving mental health for women
Similar notions of how people on the basis of gender ought to respond to emotions structure the ways that we take care of our mental health. As such, women are more likely to seek mental healthcare by going to therapy, taking prescribed medication, etcetera. However, addressing the failing mental health of women starts at the societal level. Any sincere attention to address women’s mental health has to start with the following:
● Acknowledgement of the harm caused by common gender standards – Under patriarchy, women are asked to live up to expectations that are unrealistic and contrived. The dismantling of these and the shift to a focus on women’s autonomy is necessary for women’s mental wellness.
● Societal support systems – Women need safe spaces to discuss the ways in which patriarchy and gender-based violence have impacted them and influenced their mental health. While cis and trans women have different personal experiences, both kinds of women need a community that prioritises healing.
● An abolition of gendered labour – Even today, with women owning companies and being in high management, they are still expected to bear the brunt of domestic labour with housework and child rearing still being widely seen as “women’s work”.
The mental health of women suffers under structures like patriarchy, misogyny and transphobia. The ways in which gender influences the mental health of those oppressed along the axis of gender cannot be overstated. If the intention is to improve the collective mental health of women, the initiatives have to centre self-determination, societal support and the freedom for women to tell their stories.
If you’re struggling with your mental health, it may be time to reach out for help. Contact us to schedule your first session.
Trigger warning: Some of the information in this article might be disturbing and bring up negative feelings. Reader discretion is advised.
The global pandemic continues to rage on, with over 435 million cases worldwide and almost 6 million lives lost. With illness and death hitting so close to home for many, research shows that signs of mental illness and strain have increased in people from all age groups. Unfortunately, the presence of different mental health conditions can lead down the path of self-injury as a way to cope with stress, loneliness and negative thoughts and feelings.
For those dealing with self-injury urges, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can prove to be a useful and effective coping strategy. Even if you aren’t ready to begin seeing a therapist, you can learn DBT skills on your own. When you’re ready to begin treatment for self-injury, your therapist can help you to strengthen your skills.
For the past twenty years, March 1 has been internationally recognized as Self-Injury Awareness Day and is represented by an orange ribbon that signifies hope. In the United States alone, yearly self-injury numbers among women and girls are as high as one in five; and one in seven among men and boys with almost 2 million reported cases.
What Is Self-Injury?
Self-injury falls under the group of actions considered self-harm behaviors and occurs when a person deliberately hurts or harms themself. Acts of self-injury can include skin cutting, head banging, ingesting harmful substances, repeatedly punching self or objects, deliberately breaking bones and other forms of self mutilation. This kind of coping mechanism is usually more common in adolescents and young adults with 50% of reported cases starting at fourteen years old. Though it is rare, acts of self-injury can be present in children as well. It’s important to note that self-injury does not always end in suicide nor is it a definite indicator that a person has suicidal tendencies.
There are different reasons for self-injury, none of which you should be ashamed of if you’ve ever chosen to injure yourself. Self-injury can come about as a way to express or deal with difficult emotions, cope with low self esteem, as a result of mental illness or as a way to have some kind of control over one’s own body when it feels like control is not present in any other area of life. In order to be diagnosed as a person who self-injures, it’s recommended that you speak to a therapist or mental health professional and share your experience.
The different mental health conditions that can contribute to thoughts of self-injury include (but are not limited to) personality disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety and schizophrenia. If you suspect you are living with any of these conditions and want to learn more or find out if they are linked to your tendency to self-injure, you can contact us to schedule a consultation.
DBT Is An Effective Tool for Preventing Self-Injury
There are several different ways to manage the negative feelings that lead you to think about harming yourself. Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT is a kind of therapy done collaboratively to bring about positive changes in the life of the affected person. Essentially, DBT combines a number of different core strategies and actions to help you manage difficult emotions and improve your coping skills, relationships and quality of life. This kind of therapy can be done individually (in person or over the phone) or in a group. Effective DBT can bring about acceptance and change in behavior, cognition and skills.
If you opt to undergo DBT, you may need to dedicate time to learning and improving upon skills like mindfulness, distress intolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal evaluation. All of those can be used when the urge to self-harm arises. Each component of DBT has a variety of methods to help with grounding.
Mindfulness – In order to practice mindfulness, it’s best to use the 6 main mindfulness skills. These are observation, description, participation, non-judgment, single-tasking and focusing on effectiveness. When you take the time to observe, this means you are taking in what’s happening around you and trying to find the root of your trigger. After you have done so, it’s time to move on to describing what you are experiencing. These two actions can happen at the same time and are key parts of the mindfulness process. Participation will have you being present and fully immersed in the activity you are doing to calm yourself, whatever it may be. Reducing judgmental thoughts is also key in the mindfulness process, as releasing the idea of good and bad emotions can help you to see your feelings as they are instead of assigning a meaning to them before you’ve figured them out. Single-tasking or the ‘one mind technique’ is focusing on one thing at a time instead of overstimulating your mind and thoughts. Finally, focusing on effectiveness means that you should stick to the techniques and actions that work for you when you are in distress.
Distress Tolerance – This part of the therapy teaches you how to cope in times of stress through acceptance. If you’re easily overwhelmed, you might feel that you need to run away from the issue when negative feelings start to come up. While there are times when removing yourself from the situation that distresses you is the best way forward, there are other times when there is no other choice but to go through the experience. For example, if you are stuck in traffic and there is no other way to your destination, distress tolerance can help you to understand that this was not your fault and insert feelings of patience. By going through the motions with acceptance and grace, you can eventually learn how to manage intense or overwhelming feelings.
Emotion Regulation – The practice of emotion regulation aims to help you understand your emotions, reduce emotional vulnerability and reduce suffering due to emotional distress so you can have more good and positive experiences. Non-judgment and acceptance play major roles here. In order to regulate your emotions, you will need to accept that negative ones are natural but they don’t have to consume you or control the situation you are in. Once you are able to understand and label your emotions, you are on your way to being able to regulate them. Actively letting go of negative thoughts and taking action to create positive ones is also a big part of emotion regulation.
Interpersonal Evaluation – The skills learned here helps a person to become more assertive in relationships through introspection and self-awareness. By learning what your needs are through self-evalution, you mayclear and honest communucation, you may be better able to let the people around you know what you need while working on reducing whatever emotion that would have pushed you to harm yourself in the first place.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a very effective therapy treatment that is well researched and evidence-based. DBT can help not only with self-injury, but also with improving your way of being in relationships and can help you learn ways to soothe yourself when you feel distressed. The therapists at Flourish Psychology are trained in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and other treatment modalities. We can help you see that you’re stronger than your self-injury urges and teach you tools to use such as mindfulness, nonjudgmental thinking, and acceptance. Contact us to schedule a consultation.
Have you ever gotten so lost in a task that time seemed to fly? You’re totally immersed in that article, spreadsheet or report and it brings a feeling of excitement and accomplishment. You’ve probably also noticed that you do your best work while you’re in this state. In positive psychology, it’s known as the state of flow.
You don’t need to be in a work environment to achieve flow. It’s a state of mind that is universal and can be experienced during many types of activities. You can experience flow during a workout, while doing chores or reading a book. Hobbies that inspire a state of flow include painting, needlework and scrapbooking.
There are eight factors necessary for a state of flow:
Complete concentration on the task;
Clarity of goals and reward in mind and immediate feedback;
Transformation of time (speeding up);
The experience is intrinsically rewarding;
Effortlessness and ease;
There is a balance between challenge and skills;
Actions and awareness are merged, losing self-conscious rumination;
There is a feeling of control over the task.
The Flow State in Positive Psychology
Positive psychology is a branch of psychology that focuses on improving your quality of life. It’s the scientific study of what makes humans flourish by increasing positive experiences and states of mind. One such state of mind is flow.
In positive psychology, a “flow state” is a state of mind where you’re fully immersed in the task at hand. You’re excited about what you’re doing and you feel totally energized and focused. You are completely in the present moment and you aren’t watching the clock or thinking about the next task ahead.
Flow has a number of benefits for your mental and emotional wellbeing. People in this state tend to enjoy their lives on a whole because they find fulfillment in their daily tasks. The flow state brings a sense of accomplishment and reward, which can boost your self-esteem and confidence. A flow state also causes significant performance improvements, regardless of the kind of task you’re performing.
Ways to achieve a State of flow
The flow state isn’t a happy accident that happens at random. It’s brought about by certain factors and we can learn to intentionally induce a state of flow.
A foundational element of flow is choosing work that you love. It’s nearly impossible to get into a state of flow while working on tasks that you find boring or are otherwise reluctant to do. Make a list of your daily tasks and identify the ones you enjoy the most. These are the activities most likely to get you in the zone. If your work is primarily comprised of tasks you hate, it may be time to seek out a more fulfilling career. If you’re afraid to take a leap, or unsure of what steps to take in your career, a therapist may be able to help. Work is a big part of our lives and our overall wellbeing is improved when we gain fulfillment and satisfaction from our work.
After identifying the enjoyable tasks, filter out the ones that you find unimportant or menial. A flow state is more likely to be achieved when you believe that your work is impactful. It’s also a good idea to reserve your flow state for the more important tasks on your todo list.
In addition to being enjoyable and important, the task needs to be challenging, but not too hard. Easy tasks often lead to boredom and difficult tasks can bring on feelings of frustration. Identify the happy middle by selecting tasks that challenge and excite you.
When you’re ready to start working on your task, it’s important to optimize your environment. Clear away distractions by silencing notifications and asking colleagues or family members not to interrupt for the next couple of hours. Gather everything that you need to work on the task. Having to pause to look for an item will break your state of flow. If you’d like, have water and a snack nearby, or any other items to make you feel comfortable.
Multitasking can lead to stress and diminished work performance. Try to focus on one task for as long as possible without switching to something else. Stopping to reply to an email isn’t conducive to your flow state.
Remember to rest/recharge
A key part of maintaining your state of flow is taking the necessary time to rest and recharge. Taking regular breaks throughout your workday is essential for staying productive and creative. After about an hour, take a fifteen minute break from your task. If you’ve been working at a computer or desk, now is a good time to move your body and rest your eyes. A quick walk or some light stretching can do wonders. You can also use your breaks for simple, practical tasks preparing a snack or refilling your water bottle.
The work we do is a fundamental part of who we are. Work-related stresses do not stop at the office and may affect your relationships, your home life, and your general mental health. By learning how to occupy the flow state more frequently, you’re well on your way to a happier and more fulfilling career.
The therapists at Flourish Psychology understand the impact of a fulfilling career on your overall wellbeing. We want to help you to do your best work so you can live your best life. Our clinicians can provide guidance and support during times of career transition or as you seek to find more balance between your work and personal lives.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, couples counseling may be the last thing on your mind. Regardless of your feelings towards this divisive holiday, there’s no denying that it celebrates all the rose-colored aspects of relationships. While romantic connections can be a source of joy, fulfillment and intimacy, they inevitably present many challenges and conflicts.
When two people decide to build a relationship together, they’re each coming in with unique perspectives, values and core beliefs. You may have been brought up in an environment that is the total opposite of your partner’s upbringing. Bridging these gaps can be challenging and these differences are likely to lead to conflicts over time. It’s important to know that conflict is an inevitable aspect of any relationship and is not necessarily an indication of incompatibility. When managed in a healthy way, conflict can actually be beneficial for your relationship because it provides opportunity for growth. With the skills gained from couples counseling, you’ll be better able to manage these issues as a team.
It’s a common misconception that you should only go to couples therapy when your relationship is in trouble. On the contrary, couples who approach counseling proactively (rather than reactively) tend to have healthier relationships and a stronger bond. By attending therapy before the problems arise, you’ll be better able to deal with issues when they inevitably come to the surface. While couples counseling can’t prevent conflicts, it definitely enables you to develop your skills of conflict resolution, empathy and compassion. For this reason, premarital counseling is strongly recommended for recently engaged couples.
Besides an improvement in conflict resolution, couples counseling can be beneficial for your relationship in many ways. Here are a few unexpected benefits to consider.
Couples counseling can improve your finances
While infidelity may be the most common cause for divorce, financial issues are definitely a close second. Money is always a sensitive topic and can certainly add a lot of stress to a relationship. Quite often, people’s beliefs and attitudes towards money are very different to that of their partner’s. One person may be a big spender while the other is more miserly. Maybe you have differing attitudes towards things like joint accounts, acquiring debt, and investing.
Then there is the issue of financial infidelity, which is when people lie to their partner about their finances. Examples include hiding purchases or debts, keeping secret accounts or making withdrawals without your partner’s knowledge or consent.
Couples counseling is a great way to improve your communication around finances and come to a middle ground where both parties can thrive. Couples who attend counseling are less likely to fight about money and more likely to achieve financial goals as a team.
Couples Counseling for Better Sex
There’s no denying that a satisfying sex life is an important factor for many people in romantic relationships. It’s healthy and natural to desire fulfilling sex with your partner. Just like finances, sex can be a tricky topic for many couples for a variety of reasons. You may have different preferences, needs, kinks or fetishes from your partner or may be reluctant to communicate your sexual needs. It can be difficult to let your partner know that something isn’t working for you in the bedroom or that you’d like to try something new. With the demands of work and children, many couples find that they aren’t able to have as much sex as they’d like, which can ultimately cause you to feel distanced from your partner.
A couples therapist can provide a safe environment for you to communicate these issues with your partner with the ultimate aim of improving intimacy and satisfaction.
Improved Co-Parenting
For partners who are coparenting, couples therapy can be an incredibly rewarding experience. As with money and sex, couples may also have major differences when it comes to parenting. We’re all influenced by our own childhood upbringing, core beliefs and value systems and these will all be reflected in the way we approach parenting. Parenting styles play a significant role in raising healthy, happy children and it’s important for couples to get on the same page. This is important for both first-time parents and parents who will be forming blended families.
By attending couples therapy together, you have the opportunity to discuss disagreements and differences of opinion as it relates to the children. By coming to a compromise, you’ll be better able to work as coparenting team. As a result, parenting is a more fulfilling experience and your children are able to reap the benefits well into their own adulthood.
Exploring Alternative Relationship Dynamics
In 2022, we know that there are many ways to exist in a relationship. Partnership is not one-size-fits-all and we all have the ability to find the relationship dynamic that best suits us. For those who wish to explore alternative relationship dynamics such as polyamory, open relationships or other forms of non-monogamy, couples therapy provides a safe and healthy space for discussion.
At Flourish Psychology we know that each couple is unique and has a different story. We explore your relationship with you to enhance understanding of each other and to improve communication. We help you gain perspective to increase your awareness and understanding of your partner.
Being in a relationship doesn’t have to be hard all of the time. If you are worried about the strength of your relationship or the future of the partnership we can help support you to explore your concerns.
At Flourish, we affirm all couples – gay, straight, poly, trans, open, gender expansive, single, married, dating, friends, blended, and parents in relationships. Contact us today to schedule your first session.
As January turns to February, you’re probably seeing red hearts, flowers and chocolates everywhere. For people who are unhappily single on Valentine’s Day, this time of year can be especially triggering. People who have recently experienced a breakup or divorce may also find this time to be challenging. Watching friends and coworkers receive flowers and chocolates can really sting when you haven’t been having much luck on the dating scene. These days, social media has upped the ante with extravagant displays of gifts and orchestrated marriage proposals.
We live in a society that places great pressure on us to be partnered. We are constantly being shown imagery of happy couples and marriage is heralded as a necessary part of adulthood. For many, “finding the one” is on par with finding a fulfilling career or achieving financial stability. You may feel pressure from your family members or friends who ask inappropriate questions about your personal life.
Women are often more affected by this pressure than their male counterparts. Unmarried women are subject to societal expectations of marriage and, ultimately, babies. Childless, unmarried women beyond a certain age are especially susceptible to the demands of friends, parents and society in general. The expectation of “settling down” with a mate can leave women feeling dejected, unworthy and hopeless. For cisgender women who wish to carry a child, considerations such as fertility and the biological clock are at the forefront of the mind.
What if we changed our views on singledom? By reframing your single status as a symbol of independence and autonomy, you can detach from those societal expectations and pressures. Being single is your time to be selfish. It’s the time to focus on your goals and to develop a deeper understanding of what you truly want out of life. Here are a few ways to make the most being single on Valentine’s Day.
Single on Valentines Day? Self Love is the Best Love
Being single on Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to practice self love. Spending quality time with yourself helps to improve both self-awareness and self-esteem. If you like to journal, consider writing about your best traits and triumphs. Solo activities such as visiting a museum or participating in a hobby are fulfilling aspects of your self love journal.
Use Valentine’s Day to take extra care of yourself. Have you been neglecting self-care activities like feeding your body healthy foods, exercising and keeping up with hygiene tasks? Let the day be a reminder that you are worthy of being well taken care of. Take a nice, long shower or bath and spend some time refreshing your living space. Cook yourself a nourishing meal or visit your favorite restaurant. Move your body by taking a scenic walk or doing some stretching.
The importance of community can’t be overstated. As humans, we need connections with others to foster a sense of belonging. Make the effort to spend quality time with loved ones and platonic friends. Quite often, we’re led to believe that romantic relationships should be our top priority. The truth is that we need a variety of fulfilling relationships and we may achieve that sense of belonging in many ways. Nurture your friendships and make the effort to deepen your connections with the people who are important to you.
If you’re a pet owner, go ahead and show some extra love to your fur baby. Pet ownership offers many benefits such as companionship, anxiety reduction and increased levels of empathy. Research shows that petting or cuddling with a dog causes a significant reduction in the stress hormone, cortisol. Dog ownership is even linked to lower blood pressure and improved cognitive function.
Find the Positives in Being Single on Valentines Day
The benefits of gratitude include improved emotional regulation and decreased symptoms of depression, anxiety and burnout. There are many reasons to be grateful for your single status. Being single affords you the freedom and flexibility to do as you please without having to consider someone else’s needs. Being single provides an opportunity to gain a high level of self-awareness, which can bring you closer to living your very best life. Time alone can help you to identify your priorities, as well as the characteristics of the partner and life that you want.
It’s important to remember that relationships come with their fairy share of problems. It takes real effort to make a relationship work and romantic relationships have a significant impact on your mental health. Coupled people have to consider the needs of their partner and may even have to compromise on their own needs to make their partner happy. Like being single, relationships come with highs and lows, so it’s important not to idealize coupledom.
If you’ve been struggling with difficult emotions stemming from being single, you’re not alone. Many people are frustrated with their search for love, leading to low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. It’s important to know that you are enough, just as you are. You don’t need a partner to validate your worthiness or to complete you. By developing a fulfilling relationship with yourself, you’re better able to be your best self for the people in your life. By adopting more self love, you’ll soon come to enjoy being single on Valentine’s Day.
The therapists at Flourish Psychology provide a safe space for you to discuss these difficult feelings. By working with a therapist, you can unlearn any negative beliefs regarding your single status, while detaching from the expectations of society. Contact us today to schedule your first session.
Many psychologists believe that there are four main styles of parenting. Each style takes a different approach to childrearing and will affect children in different ways. Some styles of parenting are more likely to lead to low self-esteem, behavioral problems or poor social skills. On the other hand, a healthy parenting style results in a positive parent/child dynamic and more well-adjusted children.
Most people will tell you that they want to be better parents than the ones who raised them. Maybe your parents were too strict and you’ve vowed to give your kids more freedom and flexibility. If your parents failed to provide sufficient structure and routine, it’s natural to want to go to the other end of the extreme with your own kids. Many parents struggle with finding the balance between establishing themselves as an authority figure and giving their children the space to be inquisitive, explore and grow.
Understanding parenting styles can help you to contextualize your childhood and gain a better appreciation of how your parents’ influences may still be affecting you today. If you are a parent yourself (or intend to be), this information can help you to create healthier and more fulfilling relationships with your children.
Please note that Flourish Psychology is based in NYC, but is licensed to provide therapy in over 30 states. Please view our patient locations list and reach out if you’d like to connect with one of our therapists.
What are parenting styles?
Clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind theorized that there is a direct correlation between types of parents style and the behavior of children. Parenting styles were put into four main categories, each with its own characteristics and ultimate effect on child development. The four categories (authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved and authoritative) were found to be an excellent indicator of child wellbeing, as well as a predictor of future success, happiness and stability.
Parenting styles have been found to impact everything from self-esteem to physical health to academic performance. Adults who were raised by parents who adopted a healthy parenting style tend to have a more secure attachment style, while displaying better social skills and less likelihood of mental illness.
Authoritarian Parenting Style
Authoritarian parents differ from authoritative parents in their lack of consideration for the feelings and opinions of their children. These parents are commonly referred to as “strict” and usually hold the following views:
Children should be seen and not heard
Children should obey me because I say so
Children should not have too much fun
These parents demand absolute obedience from their children because they believe children should be subservient. They may set very restrictive or unreasonable rules and will implement strict punishments for any indiscretions. A no-nonsense approach often accompanies this parenting style, with lilt patience for silliness or fun.
Though authoritarian parents may intend the best for their children, research shows that there are many drawbacks to this style of parenting. Children of authoritarians generally have an unhappy disposition and are susceptible to clinical depression and anxiety. They may display poor coping skills and may continue to be subservient in adulthood since they were discouraged from asserting independence as children.
Permissive Parenting Style
People using the permissive parenting style are likely to take on more of a friend role than that of a parent. They do not implement enough (or any) structure or discipline and tend to overlook behavioral problems. Due to consistent leniency, permissive parents do not establish themselves as an authority figure and may not gain the respect of their children.
Children of permissive or indulgent parents are more likely to exhibit behavioral problems and to lack regard for rules and authority in general. They are at a higher risk for developing health problems such as diabetes or obesity because permissive parents do not adequately limit intake of junk food and candy. They are also more likely to have dental cavities or poor oral health because the parent does not enforce good habits and routines.
Uninvolved Parenting Style
The uninvolved or neglectful parent doesn’t devote sufficient (or any) time to meeting the child’s needs. This can be as extreme as neglecting to provide food or clothing, but is more often a failure to meet emotional needs or to have a consistent presence. They are also largely uninvolved in the daily lives of their children and are unlikely to help with homework or support extracurricular activities. Uninvolved parents may often be unaware of their child’s whereabouts and do not know their children’s friends or teachers. Quite often, children of neglectful/uninvolved parents are left to raise themselves.
Parents may be uninvolved for a number of reasons, including a demanding job, financial stresses, mental health issues or substance abuse problems. Children of uninvolved parents often struggle with self-esteem issues and are more likely to get caught up in a bad crowd, to try drugs or to experience teenage parenthood. As adults, they often find it difficult to hold steady employment, find healthy relationships or find financial stability.
Authoritative Parenting Style
The authoritative parenting style is the healthiest style to adopt, as it strikes a balance between compassion and laying down the law. Authoritative parents put a lot of effort into maintaining a positive relationship with their children while providing a structure and discipline. They take care to validate their children’s feelings and take their opinions into consideration. The authoritative parent practices positive discipline by parising good behavior and implementing reward systems.
Research has shown that adult children of authoritative parents are most likely to be well-adjusted, responsible, happy and successful.
Even if you aren’t a parent yourself, this information can be incredibly insightful for those trying to contextualize their own childhood. By working with a therapist or Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) you can gain a deeper understanding of parenting styles and how they may be influencing your life as an adult. This can be excellent for processing childhood trauma or unlearning any negative core beliefs, habits and mindsets that were projected onto you as a child.
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