Much of our communication in our relationships comes before we’ve said a single word. We often have conversations and arguments in our minds and expectations about how a specific experience will go if it doesn’t happen the way the partner expects.
In couples counseling, one of the phrases we hear most that relates to this is the feeling that you are “walking on eggshells.” This phrase can be incredibly revealing about the relationship, and a sign that there are communication issues that need to be addressed.
What is “Walking on Eggshells?”
The exact origin of the phrase “to walk on eggshells” is unknown. But when we use that phrase, we’re typically describing a situation where we feel if we make one wrong move, and if we’re not cautious, our partner is going to respond in a negative way.
For a marriage to get to a place where one or both partners feel they’re walking on eggshells, it typically means there have been communication issues for quite some time:
They may be quick to argue.
They may feel they are treated unfairly.
They may believe that their partner sees them as a failure.
Often, if at least one partner says they’re walking on eggshells, it can indicate a lot about the state of the relationship. Not only does it make it sounds as though at least one partner feels like there is a lot of criticism – it also means that the partner that feels they’re “on eggshells” is already upset at their partner for a slight that hasn’t happened yet.
What We Mean By Communication in Couples Counseling
“Communication” is an often misunderstood term in couples counseling. Many assume we’re talking only about what you both say to each other, and whether or not you talk about your problems. Communication is much more than that. It’s how you talk. It’s what you don’t say. It’s body language. It’s how you feel when you talk. It’s even about what you’re saying in your mind when your partner is not even in the room.
What we work on in NYC couples counseling is this idea that a marriage is made up of two people, both of whom are trying to figure out how to be understood by their partner. During couples counseling sessions, if a partner says that they feel they’re walking on eggshells, we may ask both of you questions about your tone, your eye contact, your frustration levels, and any factors that affect your ability to communicate.
We want to help you reach a point where you both can share your feelings and needs with each other, and know that you’re being heard. We also want you to be able to hear your partner, as there are often uncommunicated needs and feelings that lead to this “walking on eggshells” feeling. If you’d like to learn more about our Brooklyn couples therapy services, please call Flourish Psychology, today.
Flourish Psychology is a boutique private practice in Brooklyn with experienced anxiety therapists that are here to help you manage and recover from anxiety, panic attacks, and similar disorders.
At Flourish Psychology, one of the many conversations we have with our callers and clients is that there is no such thing as a wrong time to see an anxiety therapist because therapy itself isn’t solely about treating a mental illness. It is about making your life better. Even if you feel that you have your day to day life under control, therapy can help you grow, stay motivated, cope with stress, and find further meaningful relationships.
But, for those that are not sure if they’re a good candidate for therapy – especially anxiety therapy – there are some signs that you can watch for to know when it’s time to make the call.
Anxiety is Manageable – But Doesn’t Have to Be Managed
Most people experience some form of anxiety now and then. A person may find themselves feeling worried about a plane ride, or that something happened to a family member when they don’t answer the phone. They may even have days where your stresses start to feel overwhelming.
But most of the time, they may feel fine. Their relationships, their work, and their social life are thriving, and they do not feel like your anxiety holds them back from causing any significant distress. In these cases, this person may not need a therapist for anxiety, because anxiety is not an emotion that weighs heavily on their day to day experiences.
On the other end of the spectrum are the people that have extreme anxiety. It is anxiety that is severe, and hold them back from healthy activities. It is anxiety that affects their relationships, their work, their sleep, or their happiness. In those situations, it is much clearer that a NYC anxiety therapist is needed, as anxiety significantly impacts their life.
What about the people in between?
Do you ever feel like you’re nervousness distracts you from enjoying many activities?
Do you find yourself worrying often, or about things that feel irrational.
Do you ever have periods of extreme or intense anxiety that are overwhelming?
Do you have stomach issues, sweat, or have physical anxiety symptoms with no physical cause?
Do you ever feel like you *wish* you didn’t have anxiety, and that your life would be better without it?
One of the reasons that many people do not seek treatment for anxiety is because, out of all mental health conditions, anxiety is the one that is most often “manageable.” It is typically – although not always – possible to hold a job, go out with friends, or have various experiences even when you’re living with mild to moderate anxiety symptoms. That often causes people to put off treatment, thinking that it’s not important or severe enough to get help.
In the psychotherapy world, anyone that answers “yes” to any of the above questions is a good candidate for therapy. Therapy is about helping you better cope with anxiety, learn to control stress, and maintain the life you want for yourself. Even if you feel like you can “manage” the anxiety, Flourish Psychology doesn’t believe you should have to. Therapy can help you find a better sense of balance, learn to control anxious thoughts, and address the issues that cause you to feel anxious in inappropriate situations.
If you’re interested in seeing a therapist for anxiety in Brooklyn or New York City, contact Flourish Psychology, today. We are a boutique private practice that supports all people, from all backgrounds, with therapy that is built around your specific experience, contact Flourish Psychology, today.
Flourish Psychology offers CBT in NYC. Based in Brooklyn, our CBT therapy services help clients with all different types of mental health struggles find the relief and support they deserve to manage and reduce their symptoms. CBT is an appropriate treatment for a wide range of mental health challenges, but it is best known for its role in treating anxiety.
What is CBT?
CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is a highly researched approach to therapy that provides actionable solutions for both the cognitive (thought) and behavioral actions associated with various mental health conditions. Other therapeutic modalities focus on past issues and try to lead to “breakthroughs.” CBT, on the other hand, is focused on more actionable items like skills training and challenging maladaptive thoughts.
Why Do Patients and Therapists Prefer CBT for Anxiety?
Here in New York City, a different approach, known as psychodynamic theory, was the preferred option for decades. But it has since fallen out of favor for cognitive behavioral therapy, as CBT has shown itself to be a better option. That is especially true for anxiety:
CBT focuses less on your past, and more on your experience as a person. Though our pasts do shape who we are, CBT recognizes that what is most important is helping you become the person you want to be.
CBT is goal oriented and faster. While we often see our patients for years, helping them manage the stress and anxieties of life, the process for CBT for anxiety takes only a few months, helping you see measurable results in a shorter time.
CBT is actionable. While there is immense value in talking about your past, your personality, and other components of your life, we also know that – especially with anxiety – you’re often looking for solutions.
Cognitive behavioral therapy provides many benefits for anxiety that make it not only a popular choice for both patients and therapists – but also a recommended one, shown in the research to be one of the most effective ways to address anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, and other anxiety-related conditions.
Is CBT the Best Choice for All Patients?
Part of our approach here at Flourish Psychology is to truly get to know who you are, why you have anxiety, and what we feel – together – will be the most effective way to address and identify any challenges you face in the short and long term. Often that is CBT. Sometimes it is not.
There are many therapy modalities available to address your mental health and wellness. Our NYC therapists want to find the one that works best for you. Contact Flourish Psychology today to learn more about our Brooklyn CBT services, or connect with your own therapist for you to learn from and grow with.
Happiness is an emotional state, but emotion is highly tied to biology. The different hormones and neurotransmitters in your brain and the state of your entire body and nervous system all play significant roles in how happy you feel.
By making small, scientifically proven changes in your life, you can influence these biological factors and guide yourself to happier living in NYC.
How to Easily Increase Your Happiness
The brain and the body are closely tied together. What you feel emotionally directly impacts what your body experiences physically, both at a conscious, noticeable level and at a molecular level. This connection also goes the other way in the sense that by changing what your body experiences physically, you will have a direct impact on your emotions.
Physical changes are often easier and faster to make in our lives since they do not require the willpower to push ourselves into a new emotional state or untangle complicated emotions and previous experiences. This can be one of the fastest ways to increase your day to day happiness, limit your risk of depression, and reduce symptoms of sadness and stress:
Practice Diaphragmatic Breathing – This breathing technique relaxes the body by increasing oxygenation, lowering blood pressure, and releasing muscle tension. It will also boost your energy and make you feel warmer through improved blood circulation, all of which will put you in a better mood. For this technique, you will breathe into your stomach. Place a hand on your abdomen and inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, feeling your stomach expand. Hold your breath for 2 seconds, and then exhale for 6 seconds. Repeat the process until you feel the effects.
Increase Blood Flow to the Brain – Many studies have shown that increased blood circulation in the brain raises the amount of oxygen in the brain. Oxygen is essential for producing serotonin and endorphins – two neurotransmitters tied to happiness. There are a few different tips you can use to increase the oxygenation of your brain by improving circulation, such as physical activity and limiting caffeinated and alcoholic drinks. These changes can have immediate effects on blood flow and making them routine will quickly begin to increase your overall happiness.
Aligning Behavioral Circadian Rhythms – Your circadian rhythms are cycles within the body that control the release of chemicals like endorphins and cortisol, both of which directly impact mood, alertness, and feelings of well being. You can align your circadian rhythms by going to bed at approximately the same time every night and waking up at the same time the next morning, including on weekends. Misaligned circadian rhythms can result in uneven production of cortisol, which is shown to lead to increased rates of depression and anxiety and means that any setbacks you experience throughout your days will have a greater negative effect on happiness.
Eating Foods High in Tryptophan – The body uses tryptophan, which is an amino acid, to produce serotonin, as well as red blood cells. We do not produce tryptophan on our own, so you will need to eat the right foods to make sure you are getting enough of it. Fortunately, there are a wide variety of foods that contain tryptophan, including meat, eggs, milk, fish, almonds, bananas, and peanuts. Many other high protein foods contain tryptophan as well so you can add more to whatever your diet may be.
Alter Fixed Routines – Daily routines result in a fixed emotional state, and while this can be effective at preventing additional stress and feelings of sadness, it also limits you from taking in novel experiences, which will cause a release of serotonin and endorphins. Introducing small adjustments to your routine that are easy to implement will start to introduce a feeling of novelty and improve resilience to make you happier. This can begin by doing something different after work, purposely trying something new, picking up a hobby, or incorporating a different step into your morning routine.
These simple ways of using biology to improve your happiness can be extremely valuable for your overall well being or for a way to reduce depression symptoms, but they are unlikely to solve depression single-handedly. For this, reaching out for therapy in Brooklyn can give you more precise and personalized guidance in how to improve your happiness and go into greater depth on the aspects of your life that are holding you back.
Flourish Psychology Provides Emergency Marriage Counseling in Brooklyn and Throughout NYC for Couples on the Brink of Divorce
Flourish Psychology has a team of experienced marriage counselors in NYC, available for emergency help if you feel like your marriage is in need of immediate support. We help all types of couples, including those dating, married, LGBTQ+, and non-traditional, schedule in emergency couples counseling and marriage therapy right away. Learn more by calling us at 917-737-9475 to schedule your appointment.
Scheduling for Emergency Couples Counseling in Brooklyn and NYC
Couples counseling is a service for all couples in any stage of their relationship. It offers ideas and solutions for growing and strengthening your marriage, teaching valuable skills that will improve your communication, trust, happiness, and more.
Yet, our NYC couples counseling services are most commonly used by those in relationships that are struggling. Many people turn to marriage counseling when they are on the brink of divorce, or their relationship is nearing an end. This may be due to situations that include:
Infidelity
Big Arguments
Unresolved Conflicts
These are situations when it is important to get help fast, with marriage counseling in NYC designed to provide you with the support you both need to move forward from the urgent challenges you face.
Can All Relationships Be Saved?
Marriage counseling is not a magic formula. Not all relationships can succeed. Our goal, as Brooklyn marriage counselors, is to guide you towards the outcome that is as emotionally healthy for you both moving forward as possible, able to talk through any issues you may have and figure out what the best way forward may be for your future.
No matter where you both choose to end up, it is important to ensure that you’re in the process of healing together with mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Many marriages can be saved with couples counseling. Many others move forward in a way that is healthier and less emotionally charged.
Do You Need Emergency Couples Counseling in NYC?
Flourish Psychology is based in Brooklyn, and provides remote/online couples counseling for patients located anywhere in New York State. We have flexible scheduling available with several outstanding couples therapists, so if you need emergency support for your marriage, we’ll make sure to make ourselves available to you.
Call Flourish Psychology Today to Get Started
Flourish Psychology offers all types of couples and marriage counseling in NYC. We encourage you to contact our front office as soon as possible by giving us a call, or using our online form to reach out and we’ll get back to you quickly to schedule an appointment.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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