Sleep requires relaxation. It requires feeling like you can “turn off” your brain and allowing yourself to drift off into dreamland, comfortably. But for those with anxiety and stress, “turning off” your brain is often a significant challenge. Going to bed, you’re left with no distractions and nothing but your own thoughts.
“What do I need to do tomorrow?”
“Why did my partner say this to me today?”
“What if I fall asleep and do not wake up?
Not all the thoughts are anxious either. Your mind may be racing with ideas, like “I have a great solution for a project at work. I hope I remember it!” or “I have an idea for a blog post on Flourish Psychology for tomorrow.”
These thoughts keep you awake, and you need an outlet that will successfully take the thought out of your head and put it elsewhere so that you can let your mind relax and drift off to sleep.
The Sleep Benefits of a Journal
One of the main reasons that your mind cannot relax enough for sleep is that it is trying to remember and process all the different things that are on your mind. Imagine you were tired, hiding in a dark cave, and suddenly heard a scary growl. You wouldn’t want to be able to forget about the growl and fall asleep, because you’d be in danger. So you will stay awake, trying to process the sounds and experiences around you.
Similarly, if you have a great idea, or you have something you need to remember, your brain is trying to make sure that you don’t forget it. It knows that you might forget it if you fall asleep, so it keeps you awake to prevent you from forgetting the idea.
One very effective way to relax your mind is to write out all these thoughts onto some type of journal or diary that you keep by your bed. Every thought, whether it’s sad or happy or scary or just an idea, can be written out in this journal.
What this does is that it essentially tells your brain “don’t worry, I can’t forget about this, because it’s right here in this journal that I can look at tomorrow.” It also helps you process the idea because you’re turning these random thoughts into words on a page.
Journaling for a Better Night’s Sleep
Your journal may not be able to cure your anxiety. But it can relax your active mind. For someone with sleep issues, especially if those sleep issues are due to racing or anxious thoughts, writing out those thoughts into a journal can be a great way to take them out of your mind and give yourself some much needed rest.
If you have trouble sleeping from stress or anxiety, contact Flourish Psychology today for more information about our anxiety treatments and support.
New York is a busy, diverse, fascinating city. It is also a great place to find love. There are so many people here, all with a variety of diverse backgrounds and experiences that make Brooklyn, Manhattan, and the rest of the city one of the best places in the world to find someone that you truly connect with.
But all relationships have their ups and downs, and, in some ways, the same benefits that NYC offers relationships can also be its weaknesses. It is busy here. There is too much to do. Cost of living means that finances are often an issue. Working here is fast paced and often means less time for dates. There are challenges that are unique to NYC that can impact the health of your relationship.
As a relationship therapist in NYC, we understand how unique relationship issues can be in this city, which is why we encourage all couples to consider couples therapy when their relationships have started to struggle.
Couples Therapy for New York City Marriages
Many people are resistant to couples counseling. They see contacting a relationship therapist as a last resort, only when nothing else has worked and they’re on the verge of divorce or separation. But the benefits of counseling are not limited to couples in the late stager stage of their marriages.
Therapy is about growth and learning. It’s about hearing each other’s needs and voice, and learning how to respond in a way that is healthy and productive. It’s about improving intimacy, sexual interest, romance, and conversational quality. Those are all beneficial skills for any couple to learn.
It is also especially important here in New York City:
In busy, active places like Brooklyn and Manhattan, everyone feels like they’re under a lot of pressure. Communication issues end up leading to even further stress on the relationship, and – without time to relax – are hard to solve. By learning how to better understand what your partner is saying and needs, your NYC relationship therapist is able to make sure that you have fewer unproductive arguments and more time feeling close as a couple.
Similarly, leading busy lives means that it’s hard to have intimate and romantic time – both sexual intimacy and intellectual intimacy. Our relationship therapists teach both partners how to prioritize intimacy in the relationship, supporting activities and actions that each partner needs to feel loved, welcome, and vulnerable.
New York City has a natural “tough” culture. That culture is just part of life here, and typically doesn’t come with any negative connotations. But “tough” doesn’t always work in relationships. Being kind, considerate, and loving is a bit part of what makes relationships work. Learning to be those things with your partner (without sacrificing yourself) helps to create a better overall vibe within the marriage.
Couples therapy also provides benefits that are not unique to New York City.
For example, changes in life, both positive and negative, can be the trigger that starts problems and arguments – changes such as a job loss, a move, a new child, and other common experiences. Change can happen at any time, even in a successful marriage. Relationship therapists help you navigate these changes so that the stress of the change doesn’t impact your relationship.
These are only a few of the many skills that couples are able to gain that our NYC relationship therapists are able to offer.
Help for Your Relationship with Flourish Psychology
Flourish Psychology has several couples therapists in Brooklyn that provide a safe, open environment for you and your partner to better yourselves. We want both partners to feel seen and heard. Our therapists are available to discuss any challenges you face, giving you tools that will support your relationship in the months and years to come. Call today to get started.
We’re getting into the colder months of the year. The sun is setting earlier. There are more clouds. This is a time of year when many people all around NYC start to struggle with “Seasonal Affective Disorder,” also called “Seasonal Depression” or “SAD” – a type of depression that is caused, at least in part, by a lack of sunlight.
Seasonal affective disorder is a very real condition. It is linked to a change in chemicals in the brain that occur when the days are shorter and there is less time spent outside. It is treatable, especially with therapy, but it is also based largely on external factors that are outside of a person’s control.
But while seasonal depression is real, not all depression around this time of year is caused by SAD. Some of it is caused by other things, and one of those things is often family issues that are related to the holidays.
Why the Holidays Can Cause Depressive Symptoms
Seasonal depression may be the cause of your negative feelings. But it could also be related to issues that simply occur around this time. For example:
Those that are estranged from their families often experience sadness or depression during the holidays. It’s not uncommon for this time of year to bring back these difficult memories, or cause feelings of loneliness knowing that your family is not around.
Holidays can be a time of immense pressure for different families – having guests, organizing parties, buying gifts, quickly finishing off work vacations, etc. These can also lead to negative emotions that may be difficult to handle.
The holidays can be expensive. Financial stress and pressure is another potential cause of anxiety and depression that can show up during the holiday season.
Some people have experienced trauma during the holidays. Few seasons have so many consistent reminders of these types of traumas as Thanksgiving and Christmas.
If you’ve experienced loss, especially of someone close to you that you used to see over the holidays, that can also cause this time period to be one that is heavy and potentially stressful.
These are all examples of issues that can cause depression that are related – both directly and indirectly – to the holiday season, but are not specifically “Seasonal Depression.”
Depression Treatment in NYC – Knowing the Signs
Both seasonal affective disorder and holiday-related depression are treatable conditions. But it is important to know the difference, as doing so can help guide treatment and make sure that you’re getting the help you need.
If you feel the “holiday blues,” call Flourish Psychology today. Our depression therapists in Brooklyn will help determine the cause of your winter depression, and find solutions that will address your needs and struggles.
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, is a psychotherapy modality that is particularly useful in treating trauma and trauma-related anxiety conditions. It involves re-triggering traumatic memories carefully and with purpose in a safe environment to help process these memories and work through them.
Mental health conditions like PTSD are related to the mind’s unwillingness to reprocess traumatic events, and EMDR therapy aims to address that in a controlled environment with an experienced therapist.
When you and your therapist decide to use EMDR to treat your mental health symptoms, the two of you will go through the following process, which consists of 8 phases, to successfully address the different memories and experiences that are involved in your trauma.
8 Stages of EMDR Therapy
EMDR involves working with each of your traumatic memories to desensitize you to them and then to reprocess them. The first step in EMDR is to decrease the emotion around the memory. From there, you can change your perception of it to eliminate the negative thoughts.
EMDR does not remove painful memories, but neutralizes the emotions and thoughts associated with them, and reduces their ability to control you. The process uses the following steps:
Stage 1: Treatment Planning – Before beginning EMDR, your therapist will assess your needs based on your current symptoms and decide whether EMDR is the right treatment path. Your therapist will then need to build a complete understanding of your current stressors and previous traumas to guide you through treatment.
Stage 2: Treatment Preparation – During this stage, your therapist will go over more in depth what you can expect during treatment and in terms of results. You can also ask any questions that you may have.
Stage 3: Assessment – This is where the bulk of EMDR treatment begins. Your therapist will help you choose a target memory that you will be processing, as well as a more positive connotation to give this memory.
Stage 4: Desensitization – Your therapist will guide you into thinking about the memory, including the image of the memory, the physical sensations, and the words and emotions tied to it. At this time, your therapist will use eye movement or another distraction like tapping. The focus on two things at once will start to desensitize you to the memory so you can think about it with complete neutrality.
Stage 5: Installation – This part of the process is when you replace any existing negative thoughts with your positive thought. You will do this by thinking about both at once until it becomes an ingrained belief.
Stage 6: Body Scan – Once installation seems to be complete, you will do a body scan to check for any remaining unprocessed emotions or thoughts and do more bilateral processing at that moment.
Stage 7: Closure – When processing is complete or the session is over for the day, you will stop trying to actively recall the memory and your therapist will help you return to calmness.
Stage 8: Assessment – After you are through processing, you and your therapist will assess your progress to determine how successfully you reprocessed your target memories and what additional processing is still necessary during further treatment sessions.
In general, you will go through each of these steps for all of the different traumatic memories that you and your therapist consider to be targets, so the phases of EMDR are less of a linear process and more of one that repeats as many times as necessary.
EMDR is one of the therapies that we offer at Flourish Psychology. We work with patients from a variety of backgrounds who have undergone a range of traumatic experiences. Our goal is to help you process and overcome memories of the past that may be challenging or keeping you from enjoying your life in the here and now.
Learn more about our treatment options and if EMDR will be beneficial for you. We encourage you to set up an appointment with our Brooklyn therapists, today.
There are many factors that affect a person’s fertility – from age, to biology, to diet, exercise, health, and even luck. Couples that are having issues with infertility may also find themselves struggling in silence, concerned about whether they are going to be able to conceive, and feeling as though they are under immense pressure to get pregnant soon.
We are here to talk to you about infertility in NYC, and help you process your struggles and figure out how to best move forward as an individual and as a couple. But today, we want to talk about the effects of stress on fertility – and how, in some cases, your own stress over the process may be impacting your ability to conceive.
The Effects of Stress On Pregnancy
We all experience stress. It’s also not uncommon to feel stress and anxiety if you and your partner have had difficulty conceiving. Problems can arise, however, when a person is feeling intense pressure to conceive – where their stress and anxiety about the process is overwhelming, and they’re having difficulty coping with it.
The relationship between stress and fertility is a complicated one. But studies have shown that patients that are under a significant amount of stress do tend to have a more difficult time conceiving:
Stress affects the menstrual cycle, affecting ovulation date.
Stress affects the ability of the egg to stick in the uterine wall.
Stress affects sleep quality, which can affect fertility.
Stress affects libido, which can cause couples to not be as intimate during ovulation.
This does not mean that stress itself is to blame for infertility, as stress is unlikely to be the only cause. But severe stress does have the potential to affect a person’s ability to get pregnant in different ways. If you’re struggling with severe stress caused by infertility, it is possible that your stress levels could also be leading to further infertility issues.
Therapy for Infertility – What the Science Says
While the science is mixed on how much stress creates infertility, research has shown that reducing stress levels through psychotherapy has the potential to improve fertility. Fertility is complicated, and therapy alone may not be enough to create the change that you and your body needs. But research has shown that it can help and, if you still struggle to conceive, therapy for infertility can help you move forward with the next step in the process.
If you’ve been struggling with infertility in Brooklyn, NYC, or anywhere in New York State, contact Flourish Psychology today and let’s talk about the therapy and support we can provide.
Location: 300 Cadman Plaza West Floor 12 - Brooklyn, NY 11201
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